


Planes and Papers

by Shinenteen



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Forgive Me, Jicheol, M/M, Mental Illness, Rape?, Step Brother AU, but i gotta do this, but its jicheol, i dont know what im doing, i love them, mention of incest?, non-canon, technically bottom cheol, woocoup, yep
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-05-08 05:53:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14687853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinenteen/pseuds/Shinenteen
Summary: Steps to make a paper airplane1. Fold the paper in half vertically.2. Unfold the paper and fold each of the top corners into the center line.3.Fold the top edges into the center line.4.Fold the plane in half toward you.5.Fold the wings down, matching the top edges up with the bottom edge of the body.6.Throw the plane in the air and watch it fly.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> read at your own risk pips.

i don't know why I did this. but still hoping you'll enjoy. anyway, it is cross-posted on AFF


	2. 1. Fold the paper in half vertically.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they moving out. hope that helps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really suck at summaries.

Saturday. 

Most of the people loves Saturday. Especially those regular workers and students who have been under stress for the time being caused by weekdays. Nothing is bad on Saturdays. You get to have a leisure after a long tiresome days, finally, a chance to breathe. That’s why everyone loves that day. 

Bullshit. 

I am not most people.

 

Sure it is a great time to relax and do nothing but not that great to move to another house.

 

“Jihoon. Make haste. It’s already late.” a high pitched voiced yelled from the outside of my room after knocking. 

I rolled my eyes heavenward. 

”If you’re really itching to leave, leave now and leave me the fuck alone.” I yelled from the inside rolling in my bed with a pencil inserted in between my fingers. 

She can leave whenever she wants just don’t drag me in her shitty affairs. Who says I wanted to live in some stranger’s house? Or worse, have a new father? Who says I wanted a new life? I don’t want any of that!! 

I watched as the pen I was using a while ago flew aggressively in the floor. This is so frustrating. 

I was about to pick the innocent pencil on my floor when the door flew open. 

”C’mon. The car’s ready.” She said looking all excited peeping through my door. Not. Anymore. I stood up as if hearing nothing and put my earphones on. 

”Make sure you have your everything with you.” I walked passed her without a fit. Can’t she just leave go and live wherever she wants and let me live on my own? She has all the money!! 

I quickly sat at the back seat looking unbothered. 

”are you really going to sit there? I’m not your driver.” She commented first thing first when she sat on the driver’s seat. I just closed my eyes cause no one really cares. That’s why she’s in the driver’s seat; to drive. 

I did not dare to move an inch cause she will have to deal with it. She has no other choice. 

”Yul is so excited to have you. I’m sure you gonna love it there.” For the nth time I rolled my eyeballs. Well, the feeling is obviously not mutual but she’s right. I will definitely love being in there....making mess and doing shits. I smirked. Who doesn’t love playtime? Now it sounds interesting. 

”---you’ll be alright I’m certain. You’ll gonna love him being your dad a--”

”could you please shut your noisy mouth? I’m trying to have a good sleep. “ she hit a nerve in there. Sure I grew up without a father but that doesn’t mean I want to have some, especially that old hag. 

How long have been known each other? It is not even a year but they’re already itching to tie the knot. 

I blasted a Christ Brown playlist in my ears for the rest of the boring ride with my eyes held close. Talking to her is the last thing I wanted.

”We’re here. “ She pulled the car to stop. I opened my eyes and threw a glance outside. 

We stopped at the entrance near the front door. There are three maids and a man, probably the driver waiting for us. My mother is the first to get off the suffocating car so I followed. The two girls picked our stuffs while the remaining old lady greeted us with a wide smile in her lips. 

She greeted my mom. 

”Welcome home, ma’am Jina and sir..” she looked at me and I raised her a brow. 

”no one.” I said. Why would I bother telling her my name? I did not came here to have a chitchat with her,.not in the future. 

My mother threw me a not-so-amused look. Oh, I’m so scared. 

”Forgive his manners, Lydia. He is my son, Jihoon.” I walked passed them entering the front door first, not minding anyone. They are so slow and all. 

What greeted me when I come inside is a pool and a spacious lawn with a lots of trees and flowers. I scanned the area before my eyes landed to what’s in front of me. 

The house is big, standing tall before me and okay, pretty. It has a mix design of cream and brown. The classic dominating the modern. It is obviously an old house but it’s beauty remained visible. It is obviously well taken cared of. 

I made myself welcomed and push myself inside the open double doors. It is the main house. The furniture complemented the classic and modern theme. In all fairness they did the house justice. I’m quiet amused. 

That soon-to-be-toothless hag is obviously rich. What do I expect? Businessmen sucks money out of their pathetic employees really well. 

I heard a familiar voice at my back. Happy and excited. 

”So, where’s my room?” I faced my mother and the over-excited maid she’s chatting with. The two girls in their back carrying our stuffs. 

The maid was about to answer me when our attention shifts to a puppy, a golden retriever, a toothbrush in his mouth, running downstairs. 

”Coups! Give. ” a deep and husky voice with a fair complexion followed suit. He is just wearing a boxers and a black mickey mouse t-shirt. Who the hell is this, this time?

A maid is quick to catch the puppy in her arms. The guy claimed it afterwards. 

”Bad Coups.” a guy said babying the dog, spaces next to me. He’s taller than me and from that I know I’m gonna hate him. 

I got a better view from where I am standing.

The first thing I noticed is his shirt looks so small in him so the small muscles in his forearm is demanding attention. His thighs are thick, it is no joke. Things like that is hard to be left unnoticed. So, Of course, I will look at him. Too bad he his looking down and his hair is a mess so I could not really tell his face. 

”Hi Seungcheol.” My mother greeted the guy fondly, attempting to kiss the guy’s cheeks. And the Seungcheol guy just walked pass her and stared at her blankly before attending back to his naughty pup. Oohhh. 

”Ahm, Jihoon, I told you, you will have a brother, right? This is Seungcheol. He is a year older than you.” My mother recovered from being ignored seconds ago. 

Older brother, huh? 

I looked at Seungcheol again with so much intensity. Now I can see his face from where I am standing. He seemed to feel that he’s being thrown daggers so his gaze found mine. I gave him my infamous what-the-fuck-are-you-looking-at?-Do-you-want-to-die face. He stepped back looking shocked and intimated. I rolled my eyes.

Next thing I am aware of is that, He is climbing the stairs, leaving us here. 

What a snob older brother. I love the manners. 

”Ahm, Sir Jihoon, You’re room is right next to Seungcheol. Minyoung.” The old lady commanded the girl who is holding my stuff . She came close to me saying ‘this way, sir’, obviously leading me to my room here in hell. I can hear satan welcoming me in his sweet home. 

When we reached my room, I immediately lie on the queen sized bed and the maids left me alone that moment they put down the bags. My other stuffs has been moved inside this room earlier, courtesy of my over-excited mother. 

Let’s see how long would that excitement go. 

I did not bother fixing my things cause I’m too lazy to function. I spend that whole afternoon updating my friends on how shitty this whole set up is. In my mind, I am already planning ways of messing around and planning things to make our stay here extra special. 

 

I was busy watching porn in my laptop when I heard a knock on my locked door. Damn it! My body just started heating up. 

I paused ‘twink got his sweet little ass ruined’ to open the door and ask what the hell do they need in my pleasure time. 

”Sir Jihoon, the dinner is ready.” The maid said when I opened my cage. 

”What? Do they need me to feed them?” I retorted. The maid just looked down. I closed the door and walked pass her. I am also hungry. 

I descended the stairs and went straight to the dining area. 

Everyone is in there. My mom, my hot big brother and the old hag. 

”sup?” I asked before sitting next across big brother. He did not spared me any glance. 

I put rice and a viand in my plate not waiting for them, and began eating. It is not like I have to ask for their permission to eat first, right?. 

”welcome home Jihoon. I hope you’re having a great time.” The old hag greeted me which I did not reply. Sure it was so great I wanted to make you eat my punches. 

My attention was halted when my mother assisted Seungcheol to have a chicken terriyaki in his plate. The latter stared at her for a moment before putting the said food on the side of his place, as if disgusted. I smirked. My mother expression is a mixture of hurt and dejection. I even saw the old hag squeezed her hand after which earned an eyeroll from me. That’s so sweet, I want to puke. 

My mother poured water in my brother’s glass, trying hard to get notice. To her dismay, Seungcheol did not even touch the glass. 

I was enjoying playing with my food and watching those scenes unfold before me, when the guy sitting across me stood up and leave without a single word being uttered. 

Goodnight older brother. Older brother my ass. Who says I want a part of that? 

A sour stir in my stomach started to get my attention so I stood up too, ready to leave. 

”Jihoon. Where is your manners?” My mother tried to stop me from leaving, following a good example my ‘older brother’ had emphasized. 

”I probably left it somewhere. Let me find it” I answered in my most casual tone and leave the dining. I heard my mother called me but I continue walking on my own way. 

I climb upstairs planning to continue watching a very good bedtime story in my room when I saw Seungcheol’s room is left ajar. I saw him sitting on the floor back facing the door so I don’t really know what he is up to. Also, not that I care. It just happened that his room comes first before mine so I have to pass by it first. 

I’m not also looking forward getting close to that Seungcheol guy in the first place. Not in my dreams. 

The first night I spent in that gigantic house is barely tolerable. the good thing that ever happened in there is when I jerked off in my bed and I think that’s fantastic.


	3. 1.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> can I not add summary please?

When Jihoon woke up the next morning, the sun is already shining bright up in the sky. He went down from his room because his stomach was demanding for some food and he was pretty sure the house of that old hag have a lot of it. It’s not big for nothing.  

He started walking straight to the dining room where he saw his dearest older brother eating his breakfast. The latter’s mood falls on a bowl of coco crunch drenched in a chocolate milk. What a taste he has in there. What does he think he is? Five? Jihoon asked himself. He decided not to voice out his comments since a conversation is the least thing he wanted. 

He sat down across his older brother and began eating the pancake he commanded the servant to make for him. While he was indulging himself in the treat, Jihoon can’t help but notice Seungcheol’s scrutinizing look, glancing up to him in a very not subtle way. So, what he did is looked back in such intensity. His usual you-can’t-mess-with-me face is on the roll.

“What?” He scowled at the older who jumped in his seat, literally.  The younger raised him a brow as he fixated his gaze back on his food. Why is he so jittery? I'm not even doing anything..,,yet. His air annoys me. He mumbled to himself. 

”w..want?” He heard his sweet brother asked looking down, just audible enough for the both of them to hear. His voice was a mixture of doubt and restraint. Jihoon put his fork and his knife down to look at the former giving a such sharp gaze that probably will kill anyone who’s going to look back. .

”Look. I don’t like you. Not even a bit. Quit thinking you are my brother. Stop acting friendly.and don’t ever try to talk to me. I hope we’re on the same page. ” Jihoon spatted with disgust and arrogance while Seungcheol was startled by the sudden burst out. He bit his nails anxiously. The irritated young boy rolled his eyes. What a nice morning!

”you’re annoying.” he added as he stood up from where he was sitting, abandoning the delicious pancakes. His appetite has already hit an all time low. . 

He went back to his room and dropped his body on the soft mattress, doing nothing. His perfect day is just lying in bed and staring up the ceiling. Of course if not watching obscene stuffs or drawing whatever his mood demanded. 

Hours later, his neck started to hurt so he decided to get up and maneuvered his computer. 

When he got bored playing game, he stood up from slumping in his chair and went by the balcony.

The only thing that he likes in this house is it’s design. He especially like having his own balcony where he can see the nature’s beauty. At least there is something he likes in this life. So, consider it a good thing. 

He opened the curtain and the door to admire the breeze welcoming his system. From this view, he could see the wide lawn, the garden and the pool complimenting the bright day. He breathe the fresh air. It took him another glance downward to see Seungcheol sitting near the pool having fun alone. There are papers and colors scattered everywhere.the boy is busy with whatever in the world he is doing.

His big dearest brother is way too weird, Jihoon observed. 

It has been 2 days since they moved in. A night and two boring days to be exact. And Jihoon would always find the older boy engrossed with his own little world, mumbling something just to himself. Jihoon too is comfortable being alone but he is so not having the pleasure of talking to himself alone, unlike his brother. They never really exchange words. Except for the earlier interaction in the dining, if that counts. He hated the guy. That’s for sure. Their parents are also barely at home. Imagine how bored Jihoon was. 

He never wanted to moved out. Or have another family. What for? If he do not really see the essence of having it. He was barely 10 when his father died and his mother never gave him any affection. So, living in a place with his new family is a torture. He just wanted to leave the house immediately but her mother won’t let him. He is like a prisoner stucked inside. Except when everyone was asleep, it’s a good time get drunk on someone’s party. 

He looked down again for the second time and saw that his brother did not even move an inch, still busy with whichever God knows he was doing. He finds it annoying. Everything the guy does is annoying.  
He rolled his eyes out of irritation when a light bulb lit inside his head. He thought ‘well, If they really wanted me to stay in this hell, at least make the most out of it. I’ll make them regret it’ He grins in the idea. He thought his sweet older brother would be such a big help.

He left his room in a happy march heading to where his poor brother was enjoying his leisure. Why not get close to him? And make him mad? Hmm?

Seungcheol is at the side of the swimming pool, wearing a white anime printed shirt and a blue pedal shorts. Jihoon hated the guy but he can’t deny how hot the older is by just sitting on the ground in an indian sit. He walked passed the boy with ease, eyeing the papers and the colors splattered around him. He successfully grabbed the attention of the said boy when he picked up the old ugly airplane toy beside the pile of pencils before sitting on lounge near.  

He examined the ugly toy in his hands. 

”Th..that’s m..mine” He heard the older said. He wonders why he always stutters and talks in fragments. Does he have a speech defect? Well, with a body and face like that, one can’t be perfect. He said to himself. 

”I’m just checking it out. Why are you so pressed? It’s not like it’s pretty or something.” Jihoon spinned the hideous toy in his fingers. He wiggled his brows in which the other just stared at him. More like gave him a glare. 

”You don’t want to share this ugly thing with me? Fine! Here. You can have it,” he did not filter the irritation in his voice. Seungcheol stood up to get back the thing Jihoon is now handling him. 

”Or not.” Seungcheol’s eye widened when Jihoon threw the old plane toy into the water, grinning like a devil he was. The former looked onto the water before giving Jihoon another murderous glare in which did not even caused his hair to sprang up. 

”You want it back? Then Get it.” He stood up from where he was sitting and pushed Seungcheol onto the water too to join the unattractive toy before turning his back to the whole scene. Let’s have a feud with my sweet brother so he will be the one who’ll throw me out. 

”Sir Jihoon, Your mot--Seungcheol!!” The maid shrieked and trust Jihoon, he does not know why. He grinned before deciding he will just sleep in his room. His mood began to change. Everything bores him. 

It was already dark outside when he woke up. Or rather, the loud banging in his door woke him up. 

”What?” He lazily opened the door. He was really sleepy yet someone chose to interrupt his slumber. It was not even hours since he climbed upstairs. He could have ignored the loud knocking but he knew better. It would not stop until he opened the damn door and he would not get any peace. 

”YOU BRAT! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! ” His fuming mother yelled the moment she welcomed herself inside Jihoon’s room. The confused son raised a brow. What? He just woke up. 

”I was at the meeting when Minyoung called. She said you pushed Seungcheol to the swimming pool. Are you even thinking?!” His mother is really mad. Jihoon could see her veins popping in her neck. He rolled his eyes. Really? it's just that? 

”I just thought he might enjoy the water since it was hot. What are you so mad about?” Jihoon slightly grinned recalling the earlier event. Seungcheol could use some bath, why are everybody so pressed? It’s not like he tried to drown the older. Tsk. 

”Enjoy the water?! Just?! ARE YOU REALLY OUT OF YOUR MIND?” His mother gasped at Jihoon’s ridiculousness. She could not believe her son’s pettiness. And Jihoon could not believe either her mother's exaggerarion. 

”You’re over reacting.” Jihoon sat down on the velvet couch inside his room. He is obviously uninterested to whatever her mom is angry about. Well, that’s what he wanted to do. To make everyone angry. 

”You could have killed him!” She exasperated. 

”But I did not!” Jihoon said back, grin never leaving his face. Her mother’s eyes is now a saucer wide. He let out a chuckle and chose to play with his phone cause her mother’s voice is starting to annoy him. 

”You don’t really get it. Don’t you?” The worry and disappointment in his mother’s voice caught Jihoon off guard but he just shrugged it off, not really caring. Jihoon never give a damn. 

”Seungcheol can’t swim. Hell, the poor guy could not even ask or scream to ask for help. Did you already forget what I said to you when we are in the car on our way here or you are ot listening to me that whole time?” Jihoon nonchalantly spared her mother a look. What she was saying then is out of Jihoon’s interest. Took her a damn time to realize that. He was even sure that what his mother said that time ain't even worth an earshot. 

”Jihoon. Listen. Seungcheol has an illness. He is suffering from congenital disease. Moderate Intellectual Disability to be exact. His physical age is twenty-three but his mental age is barely seven. I’ve told you that before but you never took that seriously. So please. Jihoon do not hurt Seungcheol. He is one special kid. Please. ” his mother said in a such pleading voice. 

Jihoon’s jaw dropped at the revelation. He wanted to scream a loud ‘What?’ but he chooses not to. 

He did not know. 

What the fuck! He cursed.


	4. 2. Unfold the paper and fold each of the top corners into the center line.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seriously? why is it needed?

Jihoon is beyond frustrated.

He is so sure that the world is doing him dirty. It was way much easier when they have not moved out from their old house; his mother minding whatever business she was busy about and Jihoon wasting all the money she has made. He just wanted a simple life, but he guesses simple is too afraid to come out to the cave it is hiding.

Now he is stuck babysitting his abnormal stepbrother, too much for his liking. He wanted an out-out of everyone’s hair, so he could do whatever shit he has been doing for years.

” You can’t just call whenever you wanted to meet. We’re adults with jobs.” His reminiscing was cut off by a familiar voice. Why he heard it clearly despite the noise inside the club was also a mystery to him.

The days that had passed was too much of a stress Jihoon could handle. He needed a breather and time to absorb what has been happening. So, he sneaked off again and called his friends to meet and have a booze. Alcohol keeps him sane.

” Nice to see you too, Jisoo.” Jihoon greeted the man wearing a blue button up shirt who just arrived. The latter just sat down to the chair across him giving him shits like how busy he was and all.

Jihoon just rolled his eyes.

He knows that, of course. They are all busy. Jeonghan being a nurse, Wonwoo being an Editor, Jisoo as an Engineer. Soonyoung is not that busy since he is managing his own dance studio. The latter can shit all he wants. And finally Jihoon. Well, he is busy being Jihoon.

Being the youngest in his group of friends, he knew he can’t just call whenever he wanted to meet because they are such a responsible adult with stable jobs unlike him. He is the only one who doesn't do much work for a living.

Don’t get him wrong tho. He is not dumb. Just lazy. But he is never dumb. In fact, Jisoo has been pestering him to work on his firm if he managed to pass the board exam ever since, but he always refuses. The older is just persistent on getting him into the field. Jihoon don’t even know why.

He already graduated months ago after studying architecture for five years, but he didn’t want to take the license examination just yet or never at all. He doesn’t even have a plan for the next three days so don’t expect him to have anything in mind for his future. He could live with that. After all, his mother makes money. He doesn’t need to work for anyone.

” Just take the exam Hoon or Jisoo won’t leave you alone.” Jeonghan joined their conversation as he sips on his glass before slumping to the seat next to him.

”Is Jisoo scolding our little Jihoonie again?” Wonwoo followed suit. He sat beside Jisoo across Jihoon when he settled in their table. He was dancing with Soonyoung earlier. He must have been tired trying to match Soonyoung’s energy. The latter is sure still shaking his booty among the crowds in their back.

”You all know that, that’s not really the reason why I called. So please, Jisoo.” Just because he is the youngest doesn’t mean he can’t snap at his hyungs. They know better to annoy Jihoon and get on his bad side.

”Yeah. We also did not come here to listen to Jisoo’s preaching. So spill.” Wonwoo put down the phone he was holding and fold his arms atop of the table, ready to collect the beans.

Jihoon let out a deep sigh. Now this is the real deal.

” Is this about your new happy family again? You have already ranted about them right in my ear last night. Wait. You said you have a step-brother, right? Is he a hunk? Tell me.” Jeonghan is so not obvious. Not. All he ever cared about is looks. Jihoon rolled his eyes.

”You already told us about how you hated living in there. What’s so new?” Wonwoo snickered on a bored tone. He is just always bored.

Jihoon shook his head.

” Nothing’s new. I will forever hate living in there. I’ve told you about how I wanted to leave the house but my mother won’t let me, right? Well, I kinda made a plan; to make them kick me out by making a feud with my annoying step-brother.” He explained swirling his finger on the mouth of his glass.

To be honest, Jihoon could just leave the house any time he wanted and get out of everybody’s hair. But if he do that, it means getting serious with his life and actually leaving everything behind. He can’t do that.

”But? Your brother was hot and your mind changed from making him mad to hooking up with him?” Jeonghan gave Jihoon his bullshits again.

”Jeonghan is both right and wrong. “ Jihoon gave him a glare in which he just shrugged off easily. He will never get used to Jeonghan’s annoying comebacks.

”You wanted to hook up with him?” Jisoo quick-assed questioned. Now the table got interested.

”Wrong. I still want to kick his ass but then I was told he is suffering from Intellectual Disability. To make it short cause of course no one understand that, my dear step-brother is abnormal. If you still find that hot, Jeonghan, then hands down.” Jihoon actually raised his hands in the air giving them a sarcastic but stressed smile.

It’s frustrating. He wanted his mother to be the one to kick him out. He wanted his mother to yell at him and lecture him furiously. How satisfying it is to see her shake in anger. All because of Jihoon.

He thought his plan was perfect. Well he believed it was. Not until that revelation happened two days ago. Now he has got no plan at all. Seungcheol ruined everything.

At first, he could not really believe the fact that Seungcheol has an MID, looking at how big and hot he is. It was quite a shock to him. But that did not stop his irritation towards the latter. Especially that he knew that his mother is forcing herself to Seungcheol’s attention. Still, Jihoon hated the poor boy.

There are plenty of times Jihoon could not control his annoyance. Like the other day when Seungcheol was playing with his basketball. Jihoon was frustrated that he had forgotten to buy a new mechanical pen so when the ball went to his direction while he was busy drawing, he gave Seungcheol a glare before reaching out for the ball that hit his foot before grabbing the fork lying on the table along with the untouched cake and his drawing materials. He made an evil smirk first before stabbing the innocent ball with the fork forcefully, making it explode. He was satisfied when he saw the horror in Seungcheol’s face. Just then, Jihoon decided to leave the area.

He also remembered that one time when he tore Seungcheol’s puppy bear that was lying peacefully in the couch in the living room. He got irritated when he saw his mother buy Seungcheol another airplane toy which the latter just stared at and left untouched. So, when Jihoon saw Seungcheol’s other toys scattered in the living room, he made a pleasure of destroying it all in every way possible, making him smile in glee.

That was only a few of many things he did to the poor guy. There are still lots of dirty schemes Jihoon did. He would put salt in the older’s milk or put pepper in his fruity loops during breakfast. Sometimes he would even scare the older boy by playing scary tracks in his phone and placing it inside Seungcheol’s room. He also remembered kicking Coups, Seungcheol’s dog on his way out of the house. Or just breaking his colors in a half when he manages to see it anywhere. All of it is just because he was annoyed or frustrated that he will put all of it to Seungcheol.

Everyone who came to know what he did would call him immature and petty but Jihoon doesn’t care. As long as he is having fun. His mother begged asked him not to hurt Seuncgheol. He did not. At least not physically.

”So that means he is a victim too. An innocent one. Why do you even hate him so much?” Wonwoo is the first one to close his mouth after what Jihoon told them. Jeonghan is still processing it in his mind. Shocking, right?

He was about to say just because and give a harem of reasons why when Jisoo snatched everyone’s ears.

”He hated him so much because his brother has the only thing he ever wanted.” Joshua solemnly said that caused everyone’s forehead to crease including Jihoon. But what comes to Jisoo’s mouth after is what caused Jihoon to clench his fist. Trying to recover from the word and calming himself not to throw a punch.

”His mother’s attention. Tell me I’m wrong.”

The two other guy in their table fell quiet as if weighing whether to pull Jisoo off in whatever nonsense he was spitting or mock Jihoon cause the comment made sense.

Jihoon wanted to open his mouth and argue and say that that was completely absurd. That he never wanted anyone’s attention. But he can’t form a coherent reply because deep inside him, he knew it is partly true. It was unfair. And he has a reason to get mad. Every fucking rights.

Jisoo’s words are like a bell the rang inside his ears. How could he say that? How can he make Jihoon feel shit. They are friends and they know him. It is a fact that made Jihoon mad. Cause they do, indeed.

The growing tension in their table dissipated in a second when they heard a loud yelling and angry curses in their backs.

”What’s in there? I love drama. ” Jeonghan said enthusiastically in which went unnoticed to them cause they are trying to decipher what was happening. Truth is, Jeonghan just wanted an out of the tension and maybe they do too. They even stood up to have a better look on what is happening to the dance floor which was supposed to have a lot of people having a good time dancing, had not the two men throwing fists to each other’s faces while saying every curses in the language they know.

”It’s Soonyoung!” Jihoon looked at Jeonghan who yelled. He is now standing on a chair. Jihoon rolled his eyes for the nth time that night.

As the good friends they were, Jisoo, Wonwoo and Jihoon went to pull Soonyoung out of the fight. Jeonghan did not want his pretty face to be damaged. He said he’ll just cheer them on. Oh, Come on.

Jihoon was about to went in the middle to separate the two heated men when some son of a bitch grabbed his shoulder and threw him a punch in the jaw. He cursed and look at the man who has the audacity to punch him only to be greeted by another punch near his lips. Great.

He glared at the tall man who punched him and kicked him hard on the stomach.

Now, let’s see. Jihoon thought. He threw punches to the guy’s face. Despite being small compared to the ass he is now fighting with, he managed to land a few punches. He did not study boxing for nothing.

When he looked for his friends, he also saw Jisoo punching another asshole while Wonwoo is nowhere in sight. Soonyoung is still cursing the arse he was fighting with earlier ago who is now lying flat on the ground. He was about to ask where the hell in Wonwoo when he felt a nail scrapped his neck, and he cursed fuck before throwing another punch to the guy which luckily landed to it’s right eye.

Jihoon went straight to the kitchen when he reached his mother’s fiance’s house. No one is up. It is understandable since it’s two in the morning.

He opened the refrigerator to get a cold water first before climbing to his room without making any noise. How he loved to cause a ruckus but not tonight. He thought. His body is aching too much. Plus the fact that he is a little drunk.

Had not for the club’s bouncers, the fight would go until god knows when. Luckily, it was the guy’s (Soonyoung were busy about) fault so the owner did not bring them to police station. They thanked them instead, for trying to stop the commotion. Jihoon could only roll his eyes once again.

When he opened his room, he dropped himself dead on his bed facing the ceiling. Darn Soonyoung. Just because of who get to dance on the pole, he got into fight. And they also got involved. Jihoon did not even have any energy left to at least shower. He just took off his shirt and closed his eyes, ready to go to the dream land.

It is not even ten minutes after he closed his eyes when he felt a damp object make contact to his body. His mind is contemplating whether he is dreaming or not.

Little did Jihoon know, Seungheol woke up from the creaks in the stairs. So as a curious kid he was, he peeped out his door and saw Jihoon half walking to his own room. He did not even close his door so the older subtlety went after him with his plane toy on right hand.

Seungcheol stared at Jihoon’s unconscious body first before he went to Jihoon’s bathroom to get a water and a towel. He remembered when his dad was drunk, he would always see his mother wetting a towel and wiping his father’s body. His mother said, it helps so that his father will feel better.

On the other hand, Jihoon opened one of his eyes and saw Seungcheol busy wiping his chest. A wet towel with a creased in his brows, totally concentrating. Jihoon was totally weirded by the action. Is he dreaming. Of course, he is.

Why would Seungcheol do things like this? He should be scared of Jihoon and be mad of him. Jihoon always bullies Seungcheol. Why would he act nice?

When he felt Seungcheol is about to look up to his face, he shut his eyes in a rush. Afraid the older might catch him awake. Even tho he knows he is only dreaming.

He felt a scrutinizing pair of eyes examined his whole system before he heard Seungcheol actually speak.

”Why.... Why do you have a lot of red?” The older asked innocently. This is the first time Jihoon heard Seungcheol’s voice clearly. His voice is deep yet full of innocence. As if indeed a child. Is that what his voice actually sounded?

Jihoon’s breath hithced when he felt a warm and soft thing against his knuckles and shoulder. He felt all his hair sprang up. What is he doing? Is he sexualizing me? Jihoon thought, confused.

”There. So it will heal faster. “ He heard Seungcheol added caressing the knuckles where he just had kissed. What a child. He can’t believe Seungcheol actually believes that belief.

”huh?” He again heard Seungcheol let out a confused sound. What now?

Jihoon stopped breathing when he felt Seungcheol leave a peck in his neck two times. He kisses every wound Jihoon has in his body for two times. Jihoon noted that.

He asked himself if he was having a wet dream cause he is not liking that thought.

After just a second, he felt Seungcheol lips in his cheek. Right beside his lips. When Seungcheol pecked it the second time, Jihoon eyes went wide open.

As soon as Seungcheol noticed Jihoon’s awake presence, his eyes turned into a horror again. Struggling to run out his room afraid that Jihoon would hurt him.

Jihoon couldn’t believe what had happened in his dream.

When he woke up the next morning, he saw Seungcheol’s ugly plane toy resting in his carpetted floor.

And fuck. It was not a dream.

He was beyond shook and confused.

But why would Seungcheol be nice to him? There is definitely no reason at all. Is he really that abnormal?

He fished for his phone somewhere in the bed and discovered that he has a message.

It was from Jisoo. It says.

’Sorry about last night. Let’s talk some other time. Rest well and think about what I’ve been telling you.’

Jihoon was about to toss back his phone to where he found it when a second message is suddenly delivered to him.

’and about your brother. Don’t put everything on him. He is just like you. ‘

He read before actually tossing it back to his bed.


	5. 2.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate you summary. leave me alone please.

Seungcheol gasped panicky as he made a fearful run out of the drawing room when he saw the smaller man sitting on the couch. 

Jihoon just rolled his eyes at the scene and continue doing his sketches. 

Seungcheol is obviously avoiding him. That is not that hard to notice. 

The older would run for his dear life whenever he sees Jihoon or even a strand of his jet black hair. When it is time to eat, he won’t join them in the dining because Jihoon is there. He never go to the places where he will see Jihoon who would always give him a glare or snap at him. He would go in another pole just to make a huge distance away from the younger. 

Not that Jihoon mind tho. More than that, he is thankful. 

It has been three days after Seungcheol went to his room and kissed his wounds because of his crazy beliefs. Jihoon is not affected and he is not thinking about what was that supposed to mean. He is not haunted by the warmth of that lips that had traced his wounds that night. Or the deep and innocent voice that rang in his hear that will make his body burn and make him all sweaty. Even the ugly plane toy that rested atop of his bed’s side drawer would not catch his attention. His body would not react and went wild whenever that memory crosses his brain. Believe him. Not at all.

But yesterday’s different. Hell, how he wished to forget what he saw yesterday. 

Seungcheol’s innocent licking to his lollipop candy made Jihoon lost his mind. With the older’s tongue swirling around the candy’s tip while he licks it. That trifled with the younger’s system. It made him think that maybe. Just maybe he is a little affected. 

He tried to shrug off the whole idea. Seungcheol is sick. No matter how he wanted to shit around, it is just so wrong. But when he later found himself in his bathroom with his right hand holding his shaft, stroking it up and down while he held his eyes shut, damn for he knew that he was indeed not affected a little but more that he have imagined. Even much. 

He tried to remember the feeling of Seungcheol’s warm hands tracing his body. He tried hard to went back to that night when the older kissed the sideline of his mouth except he made a little changes, making it filthier. He imagined that those lips that had kissed him is stretched in his cock, picturing Seungcheol kneeling in between his thighs. He imagined him licking his cock head’s the same way he licked his lollipop candy. He imagined him hallowing his cheeks more as Jihoon thrusts into the warmth of his mouth, reaching the depth of his throat. He tried to paint his mind obscene things that Seungcheol would do for him. Like, how is it like to paint the older’s face with his cum while giving him his innocent gaze. Like how Seungcheol’s gentle but deep voice would sound after he fucked him mindlessly. He liked the thoughts while jerking off in his shower. 

But after he reached his peak, he would scold himself for thinking such things. He still find it ridiculous even after doing it every time he think about that night. You could not blame him tho. The boy is a mixture of hotness and innocence that makes Jihoon’s feelings stir. That even he knew it was so wrong, he can’t help himself.

 

all of that revisited his brain, he quickly stood up and retreated back to his room from slouching in the couch. His body felt the familiar burn and he needed a release. Fuck. He cursed before going to his bathroom and do the deed. 

As per usual, when the night came, he went to his favorite bar near their old house. He missed being in the area being all wasted. It was his life after he graduated, or maybe even when he was still a student. He was asleep in a broad daylight and a mixture of sex and alcohol on the evening. In some days if he is feeling his mood, there will be some thrill (doing shit that would definitely get him in trouble). Those days are his favorite days. he waits for Mr. Shim, their family lawyer, to get him out behind the bars only to get scolded by his raging mother the moment the news reach her ears. 

Those scenario was putted to minimum when they moved out. He can indulge himself to a lot of alcohol, all brand he wanted (especially when he sneaked out of the house which is quiet often.) but the nightly sex with different whore and twink completely stopped. 

Perhaps what he felt in these past few days was just that. He thought. He might have just been sex deprived after all. Maybe that is the reason why he feels aroused whenever he think of that night when Seungcheol came to his room and kissed him. He must have been sexually frustrated. 

Wrong. 

The thing is, that was what he thought yesterday’s night that resulted to another sex with some bitch in the club which he called boring and unthrilling. Because while they were at it, he keeps on hearing Seungcheol’s voice in his brain imagining that the bitch’s moans and whimpers belongs to his step brother. There was even a point when he literally saw the older’s face in the girl that was why he pushed to girl off the bead and left the room without a word. That also resulted to a pain in his abdomen, thank you very much. That’s when he completely lost it. Had he gone nuts? Why would he fantasized Seungcheol or imagined himself doing dirty but euphoric things to his step brother? Did the older played some tricks to him? What the hell is all of this?

That’s why he ended up in his favorite bar tonight. He needed time to think and he definitely need to get Seungcheol out of his system. Completely. 

”It has been a long time.” The bartender slash the owner of the said bar greeted Jihoon the moment he was settled in the bar stool. He can’t say he and the guy are close but they are no stranger to each other. Jihoon frequented his bar before so they have formed an unsaid attachment especially when Jihoon becomes drunk in his school days which often happened. 

He gave the bartender a nod and ordered his usual. 

His original plan was to have a quick sex with some twink on the line but the moment the guy brushed its lips on the sideline of his, he can’t help but think of Seungcheol. Fucking Choi Seungcheol. He pushed to guy off his lap. 

It sucks. Guess who’s going to have his hands to himself again? 

He is not even drunk when he decided to just go home. Why the hell the older has too much affect on him? Fuck life. 

he exited the bar after bidding his goodbye to Junhui, the owner. He immediately hired a cab. He can’t use his car since the last time he did, he almost caused a huge accident that’s why his mother banned him from using any car. 

He let out another group of curses when they reached the old man’s (or the toothless hog as he liked to call the owner) house. It was raining real hard with a loud roaring of thunder and an umbrella in the last thing his would bag contain. So, he really has no other choice left but to run from the front door to the house’s main door, running past the lawn and the pool area. 

He hissed the moment he reached his destination. Damn for half of his clothing became damp. Fucking rain.

He went first to the kitchen to at least grab something to drink. It is a hobby of his whenever he come home from wherever hell he has been. He will go to the kitchen, open the refrigerator to have something to drink. his thirst quenched, He decided to go back to his room for being in wet clothes annoyed him big time. He needed to change. 

As Jihoon climbed on the stairs, he heard a muffled sniff. He is not the one who will be scared over petty things like ghost and all. He do not even believe them. But he was startled when he heard a cry coming from upstairs. 

He shrugged the noises off immediately. Who cares of someone is really crying at one in the morning? They can cry and fucking die all they want and Jihoon wouldn’t blink. 

He dragged his steps on the stairs a little faster cause his shirt is sticking to his body and he hated feeling sticky. He was about to went grab his door knob open when he hear the sniff once again. This time, a little louder. 

The voice made a muffled scream. He can’t really recognize the voice since all he can hear is sniff and sob. He told himself to mind his own business so he pushed to door open. He was about to went inside his room when a loud thunder roared again causing another loud sob and scream. 

He creased his brows. Who the hell would be awake in this hour? The floor is almost empty at his time. He was aware that his mother did not came home. She was busy doing whatever goddamn stuff she has to do and his step father (not) could not be wailing at this ungodly hour. Now he is curious. 

He retreated in and planned to close the door when he found a figure sitting across his room’s door back against the wall. Jihoon could not really tell who it might be since the hallway is dark so he opened his room’s light to at least see. 

he did, He saw the figure has his knees folded against his chest and both hands are placed in his ears blocking the noises from coming in to his sense of hearing while he was crying his heart out. His face is damp of tears. 

”Mommy. Mom. “ he came closer, the figure’s mumbled words became clear to him. 

Jihoon had to go out his room and lean a little closer to have a better view. 

Now it was clear. The figure is Seungcheol. 

”Mom. Mom. *sniff* my. Mom,,mommy” He poor boy chanted as he they heard another clap of thunder. 

Jihoon stopped on his tracks. He felt his heart constricted a little at the sight. As he watch the older desperately calling for someone while the rain is harshly rolling outside, a childhood memory when he was nine came to revisit him in this rainy night. 

He remembered waking up to some loud banging in the sky. That night, it was raining hard too. As a child, he has always hated the thunder. It was okay, usually, his father would tuck him to bed and assure him that thunder would not come for him. That his father was there to protect him from anything at all cost. But that specific night was different. It was just weeks after his father’s death and his mother is not at home which was an old news. That night, he was too scared to the loud roaring that was the thunder. He remembered crying really hard uttering is father’s name nonstop, calling him hoping there will be a miracle and his father will pop up from nowhere and hug him tight. Until he fell asleep sitting below his bed with his unanswered wishes. Gone was the only man who vowed to protect him. Gone is the only person in the world who will calm him when everything is in chaos. Gone was his father. And he will never come back to assure him that rain and thunders are nothing. It went like that for years. ever the rain come pouring accompanied but the loud roaring up in the highs, Jihoon would cry and hug his knees until one day it stopped. It just stopped. He stopped crying and wishing for someone to soothe him again. He stop hoping. He just realized one day that he was used to the rain and storms in his life that he stopped wishing for the sun. He has gotten used to it. So indeed, thunder and rain was nothing. 

The next thing, Jihoon found himself seated beside Seungcheol. 

”Momm. Mommy” his step brother keep on chanting in his cries, pressing his palms against his ears tightly to block the noise. 

Perhaps Jisoo’s kinda right. They are just the same after all. Except Jihoon is in his right mind and that he has learned to dance with the rain, screaming along the thunder. 

They are two different people yet they mirrored each other well. 

Maybe that’s why Jihoon hated Seungcheol. Because he can see his child version to Seungcheol. The naive and hopeful version of him. His weak and desperate self that he did not want to see. Because he reminded him of what he used to be. And it reminded him that for once and maybe till now, he still feels alone. 

”Shhhh. Sh.h. I’m here.” He found himself saying while hugging Seungcheol and caressing the latter’s hair. He did not know what has gotten into him but he wanted to comfort the older or the child that is in the older. 

He is the mirror of Jihoon. 

Maybe Wonwoo is right. They are both victims of life’s cruelty. They are the personas of different life yet they have the same fatality. With Seungcheol being mentally sick and Jihoon being emotionally one. They are two opposite poles but at the end of the they they are still the same cause they are both freezing and cold. 

Jihoon let Seungcheol cry in his shoulder until the older fell asleep while he was singing a lullaby that he barely registered the lyrics. His damp clothing and irritation was completely forgotten. 

He carried his brother inside his room and tuck him in his bed lying with him as he caress his soft locks. Whispering calming worlds as if he is talking to his younger self again. 

He wondered if Seungcheol is always like this whenever it rained. All cramped up in a tiny space while desperately blocking the noise. If he has someone to soothe him and assure him the rain will definitely stop except it won’t. Because Jihoon used to have one even just in his distant memories. 

He usually don’t give a damn about anything. But seeing Seungcheol crying in a desperate manner made his heart clench. He remembered the night when Seungcheol went the first time in his room but this time, no sensual thought crossed him even if the subject of his fantasies is now lying right next to him. He remembered when the older kissed his wound wishing it to heal faster. 

He gave a peck on Seungcheol’s temple. Maybe it is not that childish if he wishes for the older’s wounds to be healed faster by kissing it too. 

the sun rises in the following day, Jihoon was waken up by the rush movement in his bed. He opened his eyes to find Seungcheol panicking. When Jihoon sat up and their eyes meet, he saw the usual horror in the older’s eye. 

Jihoon was also startled. Why the hell is Seungcheol in his room? To be specific, in his bed? 

He groaned and let out a soft curse when he remember what happened the night before. 

Whe he looked at the older, it’s eye is saucer wide as he climbed off the bed but Jihoon is quick to grab his arms that made Seungcheol stood frozen, more afraid that ever. 

”Stay. It’s okay.” Jihoon offered the boy a smile for the first time since they met. He pull Seungcheol so the latter is now sitting on the bed beside him eyeing him in daze. 

How the hell would he calmed Seungcheol’s panicking tits? He had no clue taming kids. 

”No need to be afraid Seungcheol, I’m here.” Jihoon know Seungcheol does not understand anything that is happening at this moment so he took his hands to the older’s hair and caress it gently as the smile in his face remains. Maybe he will get it if I smile to him. It’s not that hard., i wish. 

Seungcheol looked at him pointing his lips, as if it was a miracle that Jihoon smiled at him. It was a miracle. 

”Are you not angry to Cheollie anymore?” Seungcheol inquired in his deep and innocent voice. Jihoon felt a shiver as he heard the older. His voice is just so beautiful to listen to. 

”No. Jihoon is not angry with Seungcheol.” He fixed the older’s hair that is messing with his face as if it’s an instinc. For the first time in his life after being an adult, he felt light. 

”Rweally? Jiji is not angry with Cheollie? Pwamise?” Seungcheol lifeted his face to see whether Jihoon is serious or just bluffing with him. Damn his eyes are pretty.

”Jiji?” Jihoon asked with his brow creased. The action made Seungcheol look down again and bite his nails after apologizing to Jihoon for no apparent reason. 

”Is that what you want to call me? It’s okay. You can call me Jiji.” Jihoon lifted Seungcheol’s chin to assure the older that it is fine and he don't have any reason to feel bad. And he hope he is doing all right. 

”Really? So Cheollie and Jiji can play?” Jihoon was taken aback when Seungcheol beamed him a smile. He is still holding the latter’s chin so he saw clearly its face. It was the first time he really looked tho. Usually, Seungcheol’s presence would annoy him to the core so he don’t really look straight to the other but today is different. He can see the brightness in the older’s face and damn it’s glowing. And the smile. He fucking has a beautiful smile. 

”Yehey!!” Seungcheol clung to Jihoon’s neck much to his surprised after he nodded. He heard Seungcheol let out small giggles.

Jihoon don’t know why but when he heard Seungcheol’s laugh for the first time, he first thing the came into his mind is that, fuck the world for all he care but he wanted to protect that laugh from the world. He wanted to see that smile often. 

Jihoon has lost it.


	6. 2.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whutt what??

The first time Jihoon cared about someone was when he was still in high school. It was when an old lady was hit by a car and he and his squad happened to be at the scene that time. He can’t fully say that he really cared enough tho because Jisoo had to tell him to call for an ambulance for help. He gave his phone to Wonwoo and made him do the call while he just watched nonchalantly at the sidewalk. 

He called that caring.

 

In his defense, it was the old lady’s fault for not crossing the pedestrian lane. She has to learn her lesson, he thought. 

Jihoon rarely care. Not when the person has nothing to do with him. Except if it is his friends. But his one hand is enough for him to count all the times that he did care for them. It was always the opposite. 

He does not like sticking his nose to other people’s business and meddling with them. Let alone be part of it. A Murder can happen in front of him and he wouldn’t even flinch. For him, the world is just him and his friends. He is one hella bad guy if one will describe him. 

So, when the thought of wanting to protect Seungcheol crossed his mind, Damn for it really scares him. He was flabbergasted to the thought of wanting to protect someone beside his friends. 

He was so used to ignore the cries and pleading tears of other people but the moment he saw his step brother’s cries, he wanted to be angry at the world. When he saw the older’s smile the morning after, the thought of wanting to capture that smile and frame it made his body shiver in surprise. The feeling is new so it scare the shit out of him. The worst part is, he does not know why. 

The resemblance of his vulnerable past self to the older is not enough for him to care for someone he just met. It is not like Jihoon to give his golden attention to others. He is not capable of giving a damn. 

That resulted to avoiding Seungcheol at all cost which is quiet hard for him because he noticed that after that day, the older’s attitude towards him had changed. The then full of horror eyes of his step brother that he used to catch is now replaced by a fond gaze and warm smile whenever he sees Jihoon. The older would excitedly call his name and ask him to play with him which he got no idea how he would react so what he did was just smile and say he was busy doing his stuffs. 

 

He hated the fact that his abnormal step brother made him like that overnight and he cannot do anything about it, rendering him glued in his spot whenever the older flashes his gummy smile at him. He hated it that the older is stirring something in him which is still unknown to himself. That’s why he had to avoid seeing the latter by going out in a full day and coming back when Seungcheol everyone is already asleep. 

He did not have any clue why he find it hard to just walk away and ignore Seungcheol without a word like he always does. He ain’t even got a hint why he was doing all the avoiding stuff in the first place. But he is so sure about one thing: Seungcheol made him care for something out of his will. 

Alcohol keep him sane and drunk enough to care less for anything. Too bad he was drinking alone in the past days because his friends are too busy being boring adults. 

It was one of those nights when he went home late and drunk. He went first to the kitchen before retreating upstairs where his room is located like he usually does. But his drunk system sober up a little when he heard a loud groan coming from Seungcheol’s room. And him, being worried something happened to the latter curious what’s happening, went to the older’s room to check if everything is okay gossip and feed his curiosity. . 

He found his step brother all sweaty and crying in his sleep. All scared and pleading. Nightmare, He thought. 

If things like this happened a week before, he would probably shrug it off and tell Seungcheol to fuck off cause he was being too loud doing his groaning. But this is Jihoon who witnessed the sweet smile the latter would give him. So, he was surprised to see himself lying down beside Seungcheol, not really minding the smell of alcohol and nicotine his body is producing . 

”Shhh. Jiji is here.” He caressed his brother’s hair and shushed him in his sleep. The urge of kissing the older in his temple was so strong but Jihoon tried so hard to resist and settled himself to just scoot him closer while he still ruffled the older’s hair. Seungcheol clutched to his warmth and buried his head into the younger’s chest. They fell asleep like that. 

The following day, Jihoon woke up to Seungcheol snuggling in his chest while he spooned the latter. The guilt and worry that was starting to envelop his mind dissipated when he saw the older. 

”Morning Jiji” Seungcheol said rubbing his eyes before flashing Jihoon his sunshine smile. He felt something warm tug his heart but he was too distracted to acknowledge it. 

”hm-hmm” He found himself humming while still holding the older’s waist. He liked the warm that was Seungcheol and it is still a mystery to him why. Either way, he still liked it so he did not dare move. Instead, he pulled the other closer. 

Jihoon is not one to show affection and cuddle. He is awkward when it comes to body contact that others may find sweet. He called it lame. But he does not really understand why he liked to pull the older closer to himself and not let go. Not that he mind but it still bothers him why. 

Later that afternoon, in the same day, he found himself sprawled on the huge mansion’s lawn tackling the older to death, eliciting a loud laugh that reverberate in his whole system. Seungcheol has that effect on him despite him denying that obvious fact. 

The following day, he played with the older and the day after and after that. And before he knew it, days easily passed like that. Eventually, his daily escape to avoid his brother has putted into a stop. 

Jihoon is never fond of anyone, especially kids. He hated them to the core. Place him with a child in a room and he would go berserk. He might even jump off the window just to escape. He cannot stand to be around annoying kids. So it was really a surprised for him to discover himself playing catch with his brother who has a kid mentality one morning. They even played basketball and played with Coups, the older’s dog or just do anything that involved the two of them. He never noticed that playing with the former has become a part of his day. 

It is one of those moments when they are inside Jihoon’s bedroom watching some movies and by that, he meant accompanying Seungcheol to re-watch superhero movies which is often leads to Marvel marathons. It is too hot to go outside so they decided to just watch a movie to kill some time. 

Jihoon is lying flat on his own bed while watching and Seugcheol is sitting down on the carpet where the younger had built him a fort. 

He found out that his step brother would often have a nightmare especially in times when the rain comes pouring accompanying the loud roaring of thunder. That resulted for the latter to sleep in Jihoon’s room because Jihoon asked him to. To avoid having nightmares he said. If you would ask him why does he care so much, he will just say that the cries are too loud and annoying. But he knew the real meaning behind that intention very well; he just want to have Seungcheol close to him. Let alone, beside him. 

Halfway through the movie, he noticed that the older is not watching whatever is playing in the television anymore. Instead, he is busy folding different colored papers forming it into the shape he liked the most. His old plane toy also stood frozen beside him.

When he first came in to their house, one of the many weird things he noticed Seungcheol was doing was getting obsess to airplanes. The older would stop and follow an airplane that pass his head thousand feet above him through his gaze, directing his full attention into it. Aside from that, he had also noticed that his brother loves folding paper planes and watching it fly in the air before it crash the ground. Thus, his ugly old plane toy never leaving his side. It is anywhere near him. 

He watched as the older’s lips stretched into a mirthful smile that complimented the glee and innocence in his eyes when he finished folding the yellow construction paper into another plane. He find it amazing how prettily those smile suit the older. 

He moved down to sit where his step brother is. So, they are both now sitting on his carpetted floor just below his bed. 

”Why do you like planes that much?” he wiped the crumbs in Seungcheol’s cheek which was caused by the biscuit he had eaten earlier. 

He never liked a mess in his room but with the older, there will always be an exception. 

”Because Cheollie’s dad loves them too. Don’t Jiji like them?” Seungcheol asked him never leaving his paper planes. He said of course he loves them too just to much the other’s enthusiasm. 

He never thought that Seungcheol and that old hog were really close. He does not see them acting like father and son even once. The latter would not even be alone with his father in the dining area. And Seungcheol is quiet aloof whenever the old man is around. 

”Mymy said it is a symbol of miracle and possibility. “ He just hummed and contented himself listening and at the same time, watching Seungcheol busied himself to those papers. He enjoyed watching the creased forming to the other’s brows every time he folds the paper the wrong way. Seungcheol is just so adorable if Jihoon is just being honest which he would never say. 

Mymy is what Seungcheol calls his mother. He figured that out because his step-brother often call that name in his sleep. 

He does not have any clue where Seungcheol’s mother is. What happened to her or what is she like. Not that he will ask his own mother too and that also does not mean he gives a fuck to that person’s whole being. It’s just that, now that his step brother has been bringing her out in the topic, he has gotten curious about her existence. 

”She said to Cheollie that before, people cannot fly. She said not even Superman. “ He chuckled when his brother pouted his lips a little. Fuck he is indeed cute. 

”But not until some brave man made a plane and did the magic. Now, people can finally fly. Daddy said it was a miracle. He said to Cheollie that even the most impossible thing can also happen if you’re just going to believe. And I want to be like daddy too. Cheollie wants to fly.” His older brother added in such a longing and sad voice. The line also seemed so copied to whoever said it to him. 

Tho the latter part of the sentence failed to process by his brain, he just shrugged it off. Last time he checked, that old hog is a business man. He did not know which fly Seungcheol meant by that. 

”Hmm. So, can you teach me how to make a plane too? I don’t know how.” lie. Who the hell on earth does not know how to make one? It was a lie. But out of all the lies he had said in his entire life, he found this lie much more rewarding for the once sad and longing gaze in the older’s eyes are quickly replaced with glee and excitement. 

Of course he knew how to make a fucking paper plane he just wanted to divert the topic because the older’s tone was just sad and he is not used to that. He don’t know why the latter’s sad face bothers him more than it should have. He only knew one thing, he would do anything just to see that warm and real smile everyday tho the thought quiet scares him. 

Seungcheol taught him each step on how to make a perfect paper plane and he would say he had so much fun watching the older so focus. 

It was fun and all. But what surprised him the most is that, after they finished making a number of paper planes, he found the older patting his hair continuously while locking gaze with him giving him a fond stare. He was startled by the sudden act that all he did was stare back at his older step-brother. He noticed the proud smile playing in the latter’s lips and the fond gaze he was giving him as if saying he did a good damn job. 

Jihoon felt the familiar warmth cross his heart while seeing those pretty brown orbs glowing. 

It was not that long when he pulled the older by its nape to capture that lips that slightly tastes like vanilla and cookies. He locked lips with the older and he swear he heard the latter stilled in his spot so Jihoon started to move his lips against him, afraid of his own thoughts to wake him up.

That was the first time he kissed Seungcheol without the benefit of the doubt. Tho there was a little guilt that hanged for a moment, he did not regret it. It was wrong yet it feel so right. 

Jihoon never cared about anything or something. For him, his world only consists of him and his friends. The others are just ensembles and he has all the control. But when a certain Choi Seungcheol made a stir in his insides, as initial reaction, of course, he would be scared at first. The older brings out the hidden side of him that no one has ever witnessed yet. He affects the younger more than he should have and that’s what scares Jihoon. He felt like he is changing. Changing to someone who is far from the original him. He easily forgets the unfairness that caused him to be mad at the world. He feels like he is another person whenever he is with the older. 

If someone would do a character analysis of Jihoon, they would say he is that notorious son all the mothers are so afraid to have. He is that delinquent in the campus no one wants to mess up with in the fear of being kicked in the ass. He is that someone who mess the whole scene up. He is the definition of bad, worse, and worst. To make it short and concise, he is simply a trash. 

He never cared about anyone. But why does when it comes to this certain person it makes his mind care about every little thing that concerns that person. Why does he notices everything the other does when he should be minding his own business like he usually does? 

The Jihoon he knew himself of is dark, cold and grey as a metal. But little did he know, Seungcheol is a magnet that attracts him and pulls him close, rendering him defenseless. 

That thought still bothers him but he noticed that day by day, he find himself minding less. 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	7. 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So there is a new guy.

Jihoon detached his lips that were planted onto the older’s neck not a second ago.   
He looked at Seunghceol’s stilled face blankly. He felt like as if he was being poured a cold water straight in the face.

 

Why did he do that? He too was so shocked by his own impulsiveness. He cannot just kiss the older just like that! What was he thinking? Did he already lose the last sanity left in his body? As much as he wanted to find his rational mind and answer every question in the world, he just couldn’t utter a word. 

It was wrong. Yes. Definitely! It really is. Seungcheol's mind is barely seven for goddamn’s sake. It was just so wrong. Jihoon was just so wrong.

 

The make the situation worse that it already was he knew he did not regret doing it. Regret? What regret? Point is he did not have even feel an ounce of it. But guilt? There are tons of guilt he was feeling.

 

If Seungcheol had not accidentally kicked the empty glass of milk while Jihoon tried to lie him down on the carpet, the younger would have done something far worse than just kissing. So he thought that maybe it was a good thing the sound of glass and spoon woke him up from what he has been doing.

 

In his defense, Seungcheol kissed him first this time. But that was not enough excuse since the older just left a curious peck on his lips, mirroring what he did minutes earlier. He was the one who captured the older into the heated kiss. He allowed himself to explore the older’s neck. Damn, he did not even know how to kiss properly. Jihoon did all the work. But that did not mean he was proud of what he did. He may be the worst guy walking on earth but he knows what is right to what is truly wrong. Not just wrong. It was THAT WRONG.

 

After he broke the kiss for the second time, he hurried to grab his phone and leave his room. He cannot even look at the older before completely marching out of the door scolding himself. He felt ashamed of his actions for the first time in his life. 

Lee Jihoon. Get a hold of yourself. He tried. That was the reason why he is resisting the urge to kill Yoon Jeonghan at this moment. It was his own fault he is suffering from too much noise and complaints about the last 3 days. He won't be in this chaos if he really did tried to resist Choi Seungcheol. The bratty half of his mind low key blame the older but the other says otherwise.

 

"Did you eat my fucking donut?!" Jeonghan puked out a burning question that is meant for Jihoon. He is obviously annoyed to the bones while the subject of his annoyance remains unfazed in his seat while busy playing mobile legends in his phone, not giving the older the satisfaction to atrract his attention.

 

"That was a gift from Jisoo, you shithead!" Jeonghan continued his angry snapping, grabbing the latter's phone. Damn if he will let the incident pass just like that. He is so annoyed. Beyond annoyed.

 

"I'll just buy you one. Give me back my phone." Jihoon demanded and still unfazed. It's just a freaking donut anyway. This shithead is overreacting.

 

"It was from Jisoo, asshole!! You can't replace it" Jeonghan could not really believe the younger. The reply makes his blood boil to its maximum degree. How dare Jihoon eat something that was especially given by Jisoo? It was hard to receive things from Jisoo!

 

"You can just ask him to buy you another. Oh, I forgot. You don't want him to grow suspicion of your hidden feelings, my bad." He pretended to be sorry but Jeonghan knew better. If murder was legal, Jihoon is probably dead by now. Courtesy of the older’s hands. The midget is unexceptionally a huge lump in the throat.

 

"Fuxk you! At least I don’t intend to get into my brother’s pants, unlike someone in here, if the shoe fits. Why don’t you just get your ass house outta here. Go back to hell where you originally came from!" Jihoon is a natural asshole and Jeonghan is so much woke by that. The antics are working just damn fine. He really did want to leave Jeonghan’s house and be out of his nagging mouth. But he cannot do that just yet. Not when he still being eaten by his guilt.

 

Jihoon remembered barging into Jeonghan’s house in the heated daylight in his daze that day. The older noticed that there was something wrong with him so he had no choice but to tell him what had happened that day. Well, that is if Jihoon did not want to sleep outside since he forgot his goddamn wallet and he only has his phone and what he was wearing. In short, he does not have anything at the moment. Thank you very much.

 

’The last time I check, you hated your mentally retarded brother to the core. Look how the tables have turned.’ That was Jeonghan’s first set of words interruption when he was narrating.

 

Jeonghan was definitely not the best option to accompany him at that moment but he will do just fine. It is not like he has a fucking choice. If he was to talk about his friends, Jeonghan would be closer to the right choice. Aside from he was on a day off that day, Jihoon cannot really go to Jisoo and tell him what happened. He will just scold Jihoon from seconds to seconds reminding him of his fault and how fucked up he was.He do not really want any of that. At least managed Jeonghan lectures and shady remarks 2 hours straight. It was till better than having Jihoo recite him morals and principles. \ His other friends would also not be useful at all since they will just mock him and won’t really give him peace.So he made a fine choice if not very right.

 

”I’ll be out of your hair soon. Don’t rush things, dude!” Jihoon said.

 

”Seriously Jihoon, I think you should really go home.” Jeonghan sat beside him giving him back his stolen phone. Finally! He just shrugged at his friend’s words and do the thing he was best at: to act unfazed.

 

Thing is, he did not understand why he did that either. When he blinked, there was this sudden pull in his system that urges him to do that without thinking of the consequences. He does not really mind kissing his brother. They are not even blood-related in the first place so it not really the kind of deal that would rile him up. What bothers him the most is where his guilt are all coming from. He feels like he is using Seungcheol. He feels like he is abusing the older to submit to him without him realizing it. He feels like he was taking advantage. That’s why he cannot go to the old hog’s house just yet. 

He does not want to see Seungcheol at this moment. He felt ashamed of himself. Tho he is not the type to care about what others are thinking of him, Seungcheol is different. And if you’re gonna ask him why, he does not know the answer himself too. So don’t bother.

 

”You said for someone who has mental retardation, your brother is smart, Isn’t he? So you’ll do just fine. It’s not like you raped him or something. “ Jeonghan crossed his arms against his chest for better effect.

 

Yes. He did not touch Seungcheol yet. But he is not that sure he wouldn’t. After all, he hides and grows a monster inside him. Everyone does.

 

”Yah! Stop acting like my father like Jisoo has been doing. You two are boring.” He tried to snap just so he can escape the topic. He knows the Yoon Jeonghan would give him life lessons again and he is not having it.

 

He spent another day in Jeonghan’s before actually having the guts to go back to the house. He would have stayed for another night but Jeonghan’s mom visited so he had to leave. Unfortunately, he is he one who needed to adjust.

 

Despite of all the things that is going on in his head, he cannot deny the fact that somehow, beneath his skin, he is excited to see Seungcheol again. He misses the kid. But every time he thinks about the kiss, the longing for the older is suddenly replaced by his rational thinking. What he did was wrong. He knew it and his guilt is still punishing him of what he did.

 

The taxi stopped right in front of the huge gate and he immediately got off the car. Behind his anxious state, he knows himself that he is kind of excited seeing the older. He even bought a cupcake because his brother loves cupcakes. 

It will be fine. 

Yeah.

 

Seungcheol’s eyes would twinkle in a sight of him. He will tilt his head a little too excited to have the treats in his hands. He would hug Jihoon and say ‘thanks Jiji’ after asking if the cupcakes are for Cheollie. And Jihoon would nod and the older would giggle. The kiss will be forgotten and everything will be just fine again.

 

That’s what he has imagined. But contrary to what he was expecting, he saw the older laugh all his breath out loud, being tickled by a tall man who he has no idea who, in the side of the pool which is Seungcheol’s favorite place to play.

 

”Who is Cheollie’s only prince?” the new guy asked while still tickling the older to death.

 

”G.Gyu.Gyugyu” Seungcheol replied fondly tho out of breath. Prince? Tsk. 

Jihoon was about to get their very intimate attention but he was caught off guard when that new guy who has an annoying laugh showered the older sweet pecks in the face. Seungcheol is surely enjoying those kisses from what Jihoon is seeing yet still glued in his spot near the entrance. And there he is feeling all shit about what he did.

He was a bit far away from them but he can hear them clear and soundly, they are too loud and Jihoon is not very amused.

 

”Stop Gyugyu. Gyugyu! Tickles.” Seungcheol said in between his very happy laugh. He was trying to duck away from the asshole. Jihoon finds it annoying and do not ask why.

 

”i did not hear it. Who is your only prince?” The guy asked teasing as he tickled Jihoon’s brother harder eliciting a much louder laugh.

 

”You. Gyugyu. Just Gyugyu. Cheollie’s Gyugyu.” Seungcheol answered in small giggles and finally, the taller man lets go of him.

 

JIhoon cannot bear to listen to the words that are yet to come on their annoying mouth anymore so he turned his back to leave again. 

When he passed the main gate, he threw the box of cupcakes he bought. Goodbye Jeonghan’s money. You’ll be remembered, not.

 

He thought Seungcheol was alone in the house and very much lonely, not having anyone to play with. It was one of the reasons why Jeonghan had actually persuaded him to go home. But guess what? Jeonghan is times infinity very wrong. Jihoon worried Seungcheol is crying again since it rained the night before but all of that was just so stupid. Here is the older being sappy and corny with this annoying intruder. So much for Jihoon’s sufferings.

 

Jihoon is not jealous. If that is what everyone is thinking. He was just annoyed by the fact that he actually anticipated seeing Seungcheol and seeing that he was worried for nothing annoys him big time. Why is he worried about the older in the first place? He used to not to care about others. What makes Seungcheol’s case so different? He found himself asking.

 

That is the thing about caring. Once you’ve started caring and showing affection, you’ll find it hard to stop. Caring can be a little addicting and the disappointment that would come after it is not quite amusing. 

It is not like he has a romantic feeling for the older. It is too fast. Too quick. Too weird to happen. And he cannot really see himself falling. Yes, Seungcheol might be a little too much of a walking attraction for someone who has a mental illness, but no. Jihoon is not crushing on him. He believes.

 

He hired a cab and called Soonyoung to meet at the bar near the latter’s place. He only had a few money left on what Jeonghan gave him and if he wanted to drown himself in alcohol, he would have to have someone who is stupid enough to pay for his drinks. That is Kwon Soonyoung for everyone’s information.

 

They were the ones of the few customers in that bar which opens in the noon. Soonyoung asked him why he wanted to burn liver in a broad daylight but Jihoon just shrugged. He did not need to let the whole world know what he did. Drinking and Jihoon is not a weird combination to begin with. His friends should have known that by now.

 

It was already 10 pm when they decided to call it a day. Tho 10 pm is considered early for a nightlife, they have been drinking since 3 pm. They are very drunk right now. Soonyoung paid the food and drinks they have consumed without complaining. Just how Jihoon expected it. He knows that his friend is generous when drunk. Sober Soonyoung would never.

 

Jihoon contemplated whether to go back to Jeonghan’s flat or go to that old hog’s mansion. Jeonghan’s place is actually the best option his rational mind suggested. But drunk Jihoon wanted to see his brother for whatever reason his sober self would not approve of. So he ended up actually going home to that house.

 

The house is at its usual quiet when he arrived. He is sure his mother did not come home again and he does not really give a damn about the old hog living in this house either.

 

Drunk Jihoon did not make his usual stop in the kitchen but instead, he went first to his brother’s room only to find it empty. He panicked a little but then he remembered Cheollie’s prince tall annoying guy who was with the kid earlier. He just rolled his eyes and turn to face his bedroom door. Whatever.

 

What greeted him when he opened his door is not really what he was expecting to see. There is a sleeping figure of the person he will not admit he missed. Seungcheol is on his bed hugging one of Jihoon’s pillow. The guy also noticed coups sleeping on the carpet just below its owner.

 

Jihoon sighed and move close to his bed to sit down at the edge of it before removing his shoes. He was not done on his other foot when he felt Seungcheol sit, rubbing his eyes. Jihoon kicked off his remaining shoe while his brother takes a look on him.

 

”Jiji!” To Jihoon’s surprise, the older clung to his neck hugging him in such excitement when he process what was happening.

 

”Did I wake you up, baby?” Jihoon tapped his brother’s hair before detaching himself from the latter’s hold.

 

”I know you’ll be back. Cheollie was right!” the older giggled. He fucking giggled. And Jihoon did not stop his drunk ass self from caressing the other man’s cheek.

 

”I missed you. Coups too! Are you not mad at Cheollie anymore for kissing you?” the older eyes flutter as he asked those question innocently and a little anxious.

 

”No. Baby. I’m not mad.” Jihoon answers fondly fixing his brother’s excess hair that is blocking his pretty eyes. The older flash him his million-dollar smile and damn for it did something in Jihoon’s inside. Again.

 

Seungcheol is pretty. Too pretty. The boy screams innocence that Jihoon is so afraid that he might taint it. He likes seeing the mirth in the older’s eyes whenever he flash him his sunshine smile. That’s what makes him scared. People like Jihoon always fucked up pretty things even if they do not intend to. People like Jihoon are cruel. People like Jihoon are the worst kind of people, sadly.

 

He is drunk and emotional. That is why his brain made a conclusion for himself. He will just ruin Seungcheol. He will just ruin the only thing that is left to the older: his pure smile.

 

”Cheollie, Jiji is bad. I’m not kind.” He cupped the older's face and looked at his eyes. He was once Seungcheol. He was once a child with an innocent smile and sunshine in his eyes before people like him ruined it. He did not want the same thing to happen to Seungcheol. He wants that smile to last and be painted in the older’s face forever.

 

The older moved his hands to his chin and tilt his head a little to the right as if thinking of something. Jihoon takes his hands off his face when former shook his head.

 

”Jiji is kind. You play with Cheollie a lot and you buy me food. Jiji also sings when I’m sleepy and plays with Coups too. Jiji is not bad. “ Seungcheol say as if he knows he is very right.

“No. I’ll just hurt you. Baby, run away from me. Please. I’m bad.” Jihoon tried to convince him. It is funny to think that Jihoon’s drunken self is way much more rational than his sober version.

 

”No! I like Jiji. He is not like everyone. He is the only one who cares for me and not treats me differently because Cheollie is abnormal.” Jihoon jumped in his seat.

 

”What? Don’t call yourself that!” He exclaimed annoyed. How could Seungcheol? Sure he said it himself a couple more times. He maybe has heard that come from other people’s filthy mouth but it was different coming from Seungcheol. It is too much to hear.

 

”It’s true. I heard them say I am abnormal and worthless. But Jiji never called me that.” his brother reasoned out. Jihoon wanted to punch someone right now.

 

”Don’t. You are not like that! Do not ever say that word ever again.okay?” He again cupped the older's cheeks in between in hands while the latter just nodded defeated.

 

“But Jiji will play with Cheollie again, right? You will not leave again, right?” Seungcheol looked at Jihoon expectantly in which he just said of course and his brother giggled and hugged him again. Of course. He wanted Seungcheol to run as far as he could so Jihoon would not have the chance to catch up and take everything Seungcheol is away. He wanted the older to be away because he cannot do that himself now.

 

”Cheol.” Jihoon later called after a long silence. The older asked why.

 

”Can I kiss you?” Jihoon found himself asking and before he knew it, he is guiding the older’s lips in his.

 

Seungcheol surely has no idea how to kiss and Jihoon willingly guided him. He nibbled the bottom lip and sucked into it. His lips is warm and soft. The older gasped allowing the younger to poke his tongue into the his mouth and sucked into his tongue.

 

It was not minutes after the older let out a moan that Jihoon found himself hovering on his lying brother, nipping and licking stripes into the older’s collarbone with their clothes disregarded and resting messily on the carpeted floor.

 

”J-Ji” Seungcheol called his name in such an innocent pleasure (if that is possible) when he thumbs the sensitive nipple and pinch it. He felt his body shiver and something warm danced inside his stomach when he heard the older.

 

They kissed and kissed and kissed and continued like that even after Jihoon palmed the older’s arousal. His brother’s voice became so addicting in his ears that he wanted to do anything pleasurable just so the latter could make a sound again and again. Not too long after that, they were both a moaning mess as Jihoon thrust deep and fast into his brother’s asshole hitting the sensitive nerve again and again.

 

Jihoon woke up in a familiar warmth that is clinging to him. When he opened his eyes, he saw Seungcheol arms entangling himself into his torso breathing peacefully into his neck.

 

He detached himself from the older’s embrace carefully to not wake up the other. When he succeeded and is now seated, he frustratingly pulled his own hair. Now he really fucked up.

 

He is very much naked and he was not the only one. He also feels sticky and grossed out with the smell of dried cum in his own body. If you are going to fuck someone guiltlessly, at least clean up after. He scolded himself.

 

Jihoon is not an amnesiac kind of drunk. He pretty well remembers every detail of what happened last night. Damn alcohol. Now he feels much more terrible. He felt like he has committed the biggest crime of raping Seungcheol even tho his step-brother actually let him. But that is not like the older is in the right mind to allow him. So technically speaking, he just raped his stepbrother. Shit, shit and shit.

 

”Jiji, Are you going to leave again?” he nearly jumped out of the bed when Seungcheol spoke so suddenly. He just woke up and still rubbing his eyes.

 

Jihoon let out a deep breath. This is really fucked up!

 

“Cheol, do you know what we did last night?” He let himself ask. The guilt is starting to creep into his system again. He keeps on searching for the regret in case there is any but he found none much to his disappointment. Maybe there are really things that can be so wrong to others feels so right in someone’s eyes. That thought pretty sums up how terrible of a human he is.

 

”that is how babies are made.” the older said after nodding and Jihoon had to whisper fuck to himself again and again after chocking in his own saliva.

 

”Do you know it was bad? You should not have let me kiss you.” his tone is a mix of frustration and guilt.

 

”It is not. Babies are blessing from God, Mymy told me.” Seungcheol reasoned out that made Jihoon pull his hair a little too harsher. Fuck. He is so damn innocent and cute and I wanted to kiss him. What did I do? What am I thinking? Dammit. Dammit, Dammit.

 

”why? Are you mad? Please do not leave Cheollie again.” His brother, no. They are not brothers.Seungcheol said in such a sad and hopeful voice. Jihoon had to bite his lips.

 

”I’ll be a good boy. Don’t leave.” the older added looking down to his fingers, nearing to cry. Thanks Satan. What the fuck is wrong with me?

 

Jihoon moved closer to him.

 

”Shh. Baby. Don’t cry. I’m not going anywhere. “ He assured the older enveloping in his hold. Fuck it. Fuck everything in it. He found himself thinking trashing his guilt and thoughts into the farthest corner of his brain.

 

”Promise?” Seungcheol looked at him anticipating. He beamed a smile and said that he promises but the older wanted to make sure he’ll keep his promise that resulted in them crossing their pinky fingers. As the older’s word, pinky promise.

 

”Yehey! I love you, Jiji.” Seungcheol hugged Jihoon one more time. From that, Jihoon was completely startled by older’s words. It was too much. Too new. And too telling. He sure feels something somersault in his insides but he was too caught off to say anything. So he just smiled and kissed the older’s temple before continuing hugging him.

 

Now that he they are placed close enough, he is much more aware that they are still very naked and bracing. Jihoon tried so hard not to mind it and actually pop a boner at this moment. He did not want to add up to long long list of the things he had fucked up. He tried to avert his gaze from the older’s body but he caught a glimpse of a violet mark in the older’s left arm.

 

He is quick to untangle himself to their embrace and examine Seungcheol’s body from head to toe, making sure he is not missing any.

 

There are bruises in the older’s arms and torso.

 

Did he cause it? Was he too rough last night that he actually hurt Seungcheol? Fuck. But he was gentle last night. He was sure of it. Did he really hurt Seungcheol? The thought made him sicker than the idea of fucking the latter.

 

He examined the bruises one last time and he noticed that they are all dark blue and very violet. Are they already at the older’s body? He did not really remember seeing them last night because he was too drunk and the light was dim too. If that so, Fuck, he really did hurt Seungcheol. He was surely not that gentle as he thought. He wanted to beat himself up until he cannot fucking move. 

He sighed.

 

He shook his head for the meantime and calmed himself down letting out steady breaths. Panicking and over thinking would not make the situation better.

 

He decided to just clean up because he really does feel sticky and dirty with all the dried orgasm joining their hugging session. He should start holding his act right.

 

”Wow. Since when are the two of you become close?” A voice suddenly heard in the living room where Jihoon and Seungcheol are playing pokemon. They just finished littering the area by throwing paper planes all over the place. They were at peace and enjoying when an intruder suddenly makes her entrance by commenting on their relation.

 

”It is none of your business. “ Jihoon snapped. For a moment, Jihoon forgot he still has a living mother. So much for not being at home more frequent than Jihoon sneaking out.

 

His mother sat beside Seungcheol who scoot far from her while she ignored his son’s annoyed remark. Jihoon can just rolled his eyes.

 

”Cheollie, darling, I bought you these.” She placed the newly bought black toy gun at Seungcheol’s front while beaming him her most charming smile. Jihoon would have rolled his eyes again but he saw Seungcheol froze in his spot, his attempt to push the toy away are delayed as tears start to form in the seams of his eyes.

 

”Why? You still don’t like it?” His mother’s voice hinted sadness and disappointment while she tried to hand the older the toy, moving closer.

 

They are both startled by what Seungcheol did next. He shoves the toy away from himself before standing up to run. The tears escaping his face did not escape Jihoon’s sight.

 

”Jihoon, I bought you something too.” Her is the first to gather herself before turning to Jihoon.

 

”Look what you’ve done,” Jihoon said to his mother before standing up and leaving her glued to her spot to catch up to Seungcheol. All he cares about now is Seungcheol and not some material thing to bought his attention.

 

He was quick to run for the older. Seungcheol was sobbing Desperately chasing for air as he sat on the wall across Jihoon’s door. Both of his hands are in his ears trying to block whatever he does not want to hear. A similar case when there are heavy rains and roaring thunder. Funny thing is that, the sun is mockingly beaming up there in highs.

 

Seungcheol is not a violent type. He knows the older do not really like his mother but he has never done anything violent to her. Every time Jihoon’s mother bothers him, he will just look at her not wanting to do anything with her shits. Expect today. This is the first time Seungcheol did something that strongly says he hated his supposed to be step-mother. There is also something in his cries not indicates it is not just a simple hatred. His sobs hinted a little fear too if Jihoon is reading it right. But he may be mistaken too. Either way, the older’s sudden burst out makes him confused and worried.

 

Jihoon hugged the older trying hard to shh him while he rubs circles on the older’s back.

 

Later that afternoon, Jihoon and Seungcheol are having fun in an amusement park in town. The younger wanted to distract and console the older. What happened earlier that day was too heavy. It was way too dramatic for Jihoon’s liking and drama is not a cup of his tea.

 

He brought the older to a place where he can surely enjoy because he wanted Seungcheol to be happy in the remaining hours of the day. 

Jihoon was not kidding when he said he wanted to always see the older’s smile. He was serious when he said he’ll protect the older at all cost. But he would not really admit that now. He ‘ll just say he wanted to unwind too.

 

They enjoy almost every ride and games in the park. Jihoon made sure that they did not stumble upon any game that is related to the gun. If what he is thinking is right, Seungcheol hated guns. There is something about guns that triggers the older. The thought of Seungcheol’s actions earlier proved Jihoon something. He just does not know what.

 

When they grew tired of walking and wandering around, they seated themselves by one of the benches overlooking the coast. The breeze helping Jihoon think clearer.

 

Jihoon is not a romantic kind of guy so he would not say the view is breath-taking. But it is. It is quarter to seven pm so you can see the city lights in the night from afar. The scene is just too perfect for a romantic movie but pigs will fly before Jihoon will acknowledge that thought.

 

SeungCheol is busy eating his corn dog while Jihoon is busy playing with his phone just beside the older. They are silently eating and resting side by side. The younger does not really mind the silence. It was comfortable and contenting just being like this, he thought. That is less sappy at least.

 

They are breathing peacefully, contented feeling each other’s presence when out of the blue, the night sky is illuminated by the explosion of the colors the fireworks is playing, giving life to a dull sky.   
If this was any other date Jihoon has been into, he would say it was really corny and even bash the whole settings but it was Seungcheol whom he is with so he is just happy. Living his whole life, this is one of the rare moment that he genuinely feels happy.

 

Jihoon averts his gaze from appreciating the sky too much just to find Seungcheol still sitting down with his eyes closed. His hands are in his ears again, for the record. He forgot that the older is scared at the sound of thunder so maybe the sound of fireworks overwhelmed him too.

 

He sighed for a moment before reaching for his earphones inside his jeans pocket to plug it into his phone. Jihoon held Seungcheol’s hands to his hears only to replace the older’s hands with his earphones that plays a loud music. The older looked at Jihoon and the younger just smiled at him before pointing at the sky. Seungcheol finally learned how to appreciate the fireworks with the music playing in the background and that is a more satisfying sight for Jihoon.

 

Jihoon’s life is set of memorized routine. Day after day, it was all the same. Alcohol, trouble, and loneliness. Sometimes, even when he is with his friends, he will still feel lonely. His life is a series of unfairness and multiple misleading routes to get away with sadness. Until one day, there was one Choi Seungcheol. Everyone sees him as a bad, ungentle, and unkind and that maybe is the truth. He is the worst. But of all normal people who see every fault in him, one mentally retarded person saw him in a different way. The irony. He will not voice out what he was thinking but he really does appreciate Seungcheol’s words early that morning and even last night. He is happy. Surprisingly.

 

After the firework show, they finally went home. Both of them are exhausted but it was worth it. Jihoon even unconsciously start thinking of where would he take the older next. He oddly feels excited.

 

They just have entered the first door but the happiness Jihoon felt was suddenly replaced by an unknown annoyance.

 

Seungcheol let go of Jihoon’s hands to run at the tall guy standing by the spot near the lounges.

 

”Gyugyu!” the older was exactly the visual representation of an excited puppy who saw his owner. Jihoon can just roll his eyes. He has no choice but to walk closer to them because Seungcheol called him. Since when did he do things out of his will? That’s right. Blame someone.

 

”Did you bring cupcake?” He heard the older asked and the exceptionally and annoyingly tall man just nods pointing the box of cupcake settled atop of the lounge. Seungcheol is quick to dig into it.

 

”You must be Jiji. I heard a lot about you.” the new face tried to start a conversation with Jihoon. That was considered a kind gesture but unfortunately, Jihoon is not anything close to that.

 

”you are? Sorry, Seungcheol does not really mention anything about you.” Jihoon replied trying so hard not smirk. The thought of Seungcheol telling this guy about him feels like winning in a nonexistent competition. This guy is annoying him for no reason. Maybe just for existing. The prejudice.

 

”Kim Mingyu. I am a family friend.” the guy offered him a handshake which he unwillingly shakes.

 

“So you are close to that old hog living in this hell.” Jihoon cannot hold his mouth for too long. You cannot blame him. Rude is his middle name. Especially to the people he does not have the interest of liking.

 

”old hog?” the Kim Mingyu guy asked.

 

”Seungcheol’s dad.” He replied blankly. He doesn’t really care if the guy is close to that old man. His annoyance just grows when he learned that.

 

”huh?” the guy is stupidly confused. Did this guy do not understand basic English? What is he?

 

”and here you say you are a family friend.” Jihoon mocked letting his smile tease.

 

”living here?But he is not living here.” Kim Mingyu asked confused. He is causing the younger headache.

”His family is all dead. Including his dad. Unless you are referring to his uncle, Yuri Choi.” the guy voiced out. Jihoon’s lips formed a thin line. What?

 

Before he can ask what does he mean by that, a maid hastily run beside this Mingyu guy, distracting them,

 

”Sir Gyu, He is on his way. “ the maid is panting.

 

”shit. I forgot he’ll be home today. Anyway, nice meeting you Jiji-ssi. Here, in case you want it. I really have to go. Chellie, bye-bye, “ Jihoon watch as Mingyu run and disappear at their sight in a speed of light,

What did he say?

 

Seungcheol’s dad is what? Dead? Oh, shit.

 

“You cannot just leave like that!” he found himself hissing to himself until he felt something poke his palm. He looked down to his hand and see it was a business card.

 

Kim Mingyu. Jihoon reads.

 

\---------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:
> 
> I Intend not to make the smut very detailed. The situation is weird and uncomfortable for some so I did that. The theme of this story is not very morally upright and I’m aware of that too. 
> 
> When I was still thinking of the plot line of this story, I did a lot of research. In this story, Cheol is a child only in mental aspect but he is a very much good looking grown up physically. So I think attraction has a high percentage. And promise, cheol’s character is more than that. Aside from that, this whole idea came out when I put my nose on my friend’s book about mental disabilities. It was just an idea at first but months ago, my granny visited our province and when she came back, she told me about my second cousin who has a child mentality too and ADHD now happily married to a lady guard. My cousin is a guy. And so It amazed me because my cousin’s mother was a hundred % sure her son would end up alone in that kind of state but she was proved wrong. So yeah, that inspires this. 
> 
> But really. I have a plot in mind and I hope you’ll like where I am leading the story. 
> 
> I understand really if you do not like this kind of story and decided to stop reading this. I respect that. I am so sorry. 
> 
> Anyway thanks for sharing me your thoughts regarding that topic because it helped me be more mindful of what I am writing. I really appreciate it. 
> 
> Please share me more of your thoughts in the comment box :) I would like to know them. :) :)


	8. 3.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu what ??

For Jihoon, Saturday is lying on his bed, sketching infrastructure or watching the latest scandal he could find on the internet. In short, he would define his day boring. Well, at least there comes the thrill during the night: having fun in strangers party and yes, getting laid. That would define the perfect life in his dictionary.

But there are matters that needed to change. For example, how these routines become just the things he used to do before a certain person has not made his existence known. Lately, the drinking and partying have made an exit in his perfect Saturday’s list.

When his step-brother entered his life and became a part of it even without his liking (or not), his to-do list that was like a harem before, becomes a paper containing one proper noun: Choi Seungcheol. That said routine includes playing or sometimes going somewhere that is not their home (because their parents are at home during weekends, unfortunately) or just staying at his room with Seungcheol and coups doing whatever and of course, cuddling. Too much of it.

It was supposed to be one of those Saturdays when he should find himself entangled in his brother’s embrace in his bed. However, he found himself walking his way through a cafe with a rather annoyed grin, not leaving his face.

”You are late.” The guy sitting across him said first thing when he reached the table, putting down the bitter beverage he sipped into.

”That was my plan.” Jihoon gave the guy a mocking stare. He intends to tease the tall (and handsome, he will never say it) sun-kissed skin man that he swore he would never spare his time for. But here he is now, so whatever.

”What do you want? I don’t have time for shits.” The smaller of them took a sit across the guy.

”Listen. The least thing I wanted to do is to be friends with you. If I had a choice I would never associate myself with you. I’m doing this for Seungcheol and I wanted you to cooperate. ” the guy finally snapped, annoyed at the older. He was not very patient human too and the rude guy across him is really wanting him to erupt.

If you are going to look at their situation at the moment, the tension is not that hard to catch someone’s eye. And the biggest asshole at the moment award would be given to Jihoon. The way he is acting is a proof of it. But he has reasons. A valid one and no one can blame him for it.

Well, it happened weeks before. When Jihoon was first introduced to this Kim Mingyu guy and made him confused, giving him an intriguing information. The first thing he did the next morning was to investigate who the guy is. He can’t just believe someone he just met. He found out that Kim Mingyu is a psychiatrist running his own clinic at such a young age.

Jihoon was curious. He has been dying to know if what the guy said to him was true. So after a week of contemplating if he should contact the guy and lower his pride (he hated the guy’s guts without any reason) or just let the information slip. After all, it does not matter. But the thought of wanting to know Seungcheol more ignited his desire to know things he should not have any concert of, thus making himself do things out of impulse. After a week, he went to where the guy’s clinic is located, wanting to talk to the guy his brother called as his prince (as if!) asap.

He talked to the guy’s secretary/assistant, saying he wanted to talk to his boss for a really urgent matter. The secretary said that he should make an appointment and wait so he just left his card for her to deliver it to his boss. But that bastard Kim Mingyu told his secretary that he does not know anyone who has a name of Lee Jihoon and now how dare he contact him? The audacity!

”I thought you do not know me? Look how the tables have turned.” he gave Mingyu a smirk just to irked the man to full annoyance. How Jihoon love to make him mad.

His plan was to never show up to the meeting the younger had set. But he was frustrated to the core so he dead-ass asked the old hog if he was Seungcheol’s real father and the toothless fucker’s shocked and lost reaction made Jihoon to reconsider his plan. The old hog’s answer stirred his curiosity more. He told them that Seungcheol’s family was robbed and murdered when he was still kid and him, being so close to Seungcheol (he can’t see that) and the only family left so he had him adopted. The story is not that convincing to Jihoon so he changed his plan.

”You are still pressed about that? I’ve already apologized. I did not know it was you. All I know your name was Jiji because Cheollie said so.” Migyu explained frustratedly. He felt bad about the incident and he did not intend to offend Jihoon but he cannot help but feel annoyed because the latter is just so rude.

”whatever. Just tell me what do you want.” Jihoon slouched in his seat not caring about the other’s explanation. He thought it was already done and a sorry won’t make it up for his broken ego. He heard the guy sighed before taking its cue to talk.

”You see, Seungcheol clearly needed treatment. But I cannot give him that because his dickhead uncle won’t let me near him.” Migyu told him probably cursing Seungcheol’s father, uhm, uncle under his breath.

”Not my problem. What are you saying Seungcheol needed a treatment? He has moderate intellectual retardation since his infancy.” Jihoon creased his forehead. This guy just doesn’t make any sense.

”so that was what the fucker told you? No Jihoon. He has age regression caused by a traumatic experience and it was not congenital. He needed treatment. That’s where I will be needing your help.” Kim Mingyu is now giving him pleading eyes. He would have given him a smug but the new uttered information is too much to digest at the moment.

”Hang on. Regression what? Traumatic experience? Just what the fuck are you saying?” if there is a super-superlative of the word confuse that is Jihoon. It seems like every time this Mingyu guy opens his mouth, he triggers Jihoon’s headache.

”That a story for another time. For now, please. I want to have your word. You’ll help me sneak Seungcheol out of their house so he can have treatment, right? Please, Jihoon.” Mingyu tried to hold Jihoon’s hands that were resting atop of the table while the latter was still processing the fresh information. When he came back to his senses, he was quick to throw the taller’s big hands away from him.

”Why would I believe you? I barely know you and there must be a reason why they won’t let you near my brother. “ he spatted not entirely sure of the things that are currently going on. And besides, he cannot just let the guy near Seungcheol. He barely knew him.

”Because I am his fiance, Jihoon.” He was about to say no when the guy reasoned out in such haste making Jihoon bore him one intent glare.

He felt his world stopped a bit before resuming to its normal pace. He felt a small tugged in his insides for a split second, making him think it was just an illusion because he was shocked.

Fiance? Has he been inhaling cannabis?

”Damn. We could have been married at this moment, had not his sudden illness. I’ll tell you the whole story next time. But for now, please. Trust me.” The guy looked at him in sincerity and pleading look. Jihoon could just stare.

Married? It was impossible for them to get married in Korea.

What do I care? They can get married even now and I would not budge.

“i.....i’ll think a.about it. I’ll give you a call.” he managed to say after being in a daze. The guy stood up ready to leave while Jihoon is still processing the new found information. Tho he was still contemplating if he should believe in it.

“Great. Thank you, Lee Jihoon. I’m sorry I have to go now. I have a very important meeting. Say hi to Cheollie for me, I’ll wait for your call. Thank you, Jihoon.” That’s all he heard before Kim Mingyu was completely out of his hair.

Why did he suddenly feel down? He should be the one who was the first to leave Mingyu not the other way around. How dare he? His big ego cannot accept the turn of events.

He heaved a sigh before deciding he should leave the cafe. It is not like he can do anything now.

It was still early with the clock saying 5:23 PM and he was still not ready to go home so he decided to just roam around the mall.

He walked passed the stores with not much in mind, he just feels like walking around not minding anything. He was on the third floor when his stomach grumbled indicating that he should probably eat since the last time he ate was this morning. He looked around the area to find a restaurant he could eat into but he found himself standing in a store scrutinizing the necklace display instead of actually eating.

He was on his way to buy food in an Italian restaurant but a silver necklace with a small plane dangling as its pendant caught his attention while he was passing by the store. It’s simple and pretty just like Seungcheol. So, he went inside to get the shining thing, thinking it would suit his brother.

Speaking of his brother, he must be waiting for Jihoon at their house. He remembered promising he would buy him cupcakes when he gets home. He looked at his phone and read the time says 7:27. He decided to just go home and join his brother for dinner instead of eating out.

When he got home, the maid told him that Seungcheol has finished eating his dinner together with their parents so Jihoon eats alone before retreating to his room where he found the older lying inside the fort he made, coloring his book.

“Jiji!” Jihoon was caught off guard when Seungcheol suddenly run and kissed him full on the lips. It was only a peck but his body automatically responded, lips suddenly moving against the other. It was not too soon when they pulled out.

Jihoon is not that surprised every time the older pull him into a kiss. It has become a normal thing to do after he claimed Seungcheol’s body weeks before. His brother found pleasure kissing him on the lips and he never dared complain. He liked it so he doesn’t really mind. Before. Not until now that he learned that there is a possibility that Seungcheol might be really engaged to that Kim Mingyu guy. 

The thought made a stir in his stomach but before he could react, Seungcheol started to hug him.

”Jiji is sooo slow to get home, Cheollie waited.” Seungcheol sulked.

”Sorry baby. But I brought you cupcakes” The excited squeal the older elicited made Jihoon smile a genuine one. Seungcheol is just too beautiful it drives the likes of Jihoon crazy.

When Seungcheol finished his treats, Jihoon brought him inside the shower to clean himself before sleeping. It was also part of their routine. Them, cleaning their bodies together (because Seungcheol plays with the shampoo and soap every time there’s a chance so Jihoon monitors him)

Jihoon pulled the older’s clothes gently while the latter plays with the flowing water inside the tub. When he completely rid of the shirt, he noticed the reddish mark on the side of Seungcheol’s stomach. At first, he did not mind it but when he guided the older inside the tub, he noticed the reddish and bluish mark in his shoulder. The bruises seemed too fresh.

”where did you get this?” he asked his brother while still examining for the other areas of his body to see if there is any in other parts too.

Seungcheol just shrugged and continued playing with the water. He must have hit somewhere hard when he was playing somewhere, Jihoon thought.

After taking a night shower, both boys are snuggled in the bed, limbs entangled while watching Thor in the laptop.

Now, this is a perfect Saturday, Jihoon said to himself before kissing his brother’s crown. 

\--------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:  It took me a month to post an update. I am so sorryyyy. i was just busy with other stuffs and my ojt. 
> 
>        Anyway, What do you think of Mingyu being Seungcheol's finace?   
>       
>    I am a lowkey gyucheol shipper hahahha. 


	9. 3.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cheol's background

”What do Cheollie want?” he heard Mingyu asked Seungcheol, making him pick between Strawberry flavored cupcake and chocolate while hugging him in the back.. 

Jihoon could just roll his eyes for the nth time.

He was quietly watching the two guy in one corner of the clinic giggling. He was sure that Mingyu promised him Seungcheol’s treatment, not to witness them flirt with each other (Mingyu’s flirting attempts to his brother). He did not signed up for that kind of shit. 

When they talked for the first time, Jihoon was so sure he would not agree to anything that exceptionally tall guy would tell him. He has this prejudice towards the guy and he has no idea why. But after some time, he thought of considering the plan. 

It was plain and simple. Jihoon is the closest to Seungcheol and they would not suspect him anything even if he take his brother outside to wander around. He was the only way for Mingyu to have access to Seungcheol tho he did not know the reason why. That should make him think twice in entrusting his brother to a stranger but he ended up helping the guy anyway, as promised to let him accompany Seungcheol and thus the treatment. It was too risky but better trust this guy whom Seungcheol is fond of rather than that old hog, Jihoon thought. He would rather deal with the devil than trust the old man. 

It has been a week since then. They would go to where Mingyu’s clinic is located at least three times a week for Seungcheol’s treatment. It also meant for him to endure the curiosity sipping into his skin. Mingyu has not tell him what he promised to tell and Jihoon has been dying to know. It’s like an itch in his skin waiting to be scratched.

”He’s improving. At least his perception does. I hope it continues.” The annoyingly tall person sat across him side glancing sleeping man at the couch in one corner of the clinic. Jihoon did the same. 

The session has just ended but his older brother has fallen asleep after eating too many sweets. He does not really approve those kinds of food but Seungcheol is obviously enjoying them earlier and who is he to stop him?

”It’s all thanks to you Jihoon-ssi. Thank you for trusting me.” Mingyu gave him a grateful smile. He did not return it. 

”You never told me why that old hog despises you.” He straightforwardly spatted. He is doing him a favor but he really wants to know everything. 

Since the guy first opened his mouth, all Jihoon felt is confusion. He at least deserves enlightenment, he thought. So why not beat him to it?

”ah, that. I am quite surprised you never ask that Yul about it.” the guy said as he remained quiet, listening; waiting for the other to continue.

”Seungcheol was once living inside a fairy tale if you will ask me. He has loving parents and they are hella rich. The Choi’s are also the kindest man I’ve ever meet. But his life went downhill after one tragic event. “ Mingyu paused for a minute. 

”If you’re not gonna tell me at this moment, say goodbye to your fiance. I don’t really have time for long sentiments, you know.“ Jihoon snapped when the taller guy just looked at him not saying anything. He is one impatient man. He is not some elementary students who need a lot of introduction. Just get to the point, he wanted to shout. 

This guy better talk it all out or else he will never let him see even a strand of his brothers hair ever again. Especially if he is annoying Jihoon for no apparent reason. 

He just hated the guy. If not Seungcheol, he would storm out the room the moment he entered the door, not caring for whatever shit that will come out of his annoying mouth.

He heard the guy sighed before speaking probably startled by his sudden outburst earlier. 

”Seungcheol was 17 when his parents were murdered inside their own home. A group of men wearing black robbed their house as what the police said, killing both his father and his mother, changing his life forever.“ Mingyu began. His words have the glint of gloom in it. 

”He was 17? But if he was traumatized by that incident and has become what he is today, should his mental age be a teenager too?” Jihoon creased his forehead. He tried searching what age regression means when Mingyu first told him about the illness. His narrative didn’t really answer his question. The old hog already mentioned the incident so he already knew that. This guy is being too vague. Jihoon is growing impatient by a lot of Segway this guy is doing. 

”It should be. Age regression happens when one suffered from abused or a traumatizing event causing someone to get stuck or frozen at a particular age, often seem immature.   
Seungcheol went back to the age where his family was still not very busy traveling the world. I don’t know if you already know but his father was a pilot and his mother was a flight stewardess so they were not often at home after Seungcheol reached his seventh birthday. They would just visit Cheol at least twice a month, staying with him for days before going again. But he was cool with it. We used to live in the house across them so he was often with us when his parents got busy. “

”On one night when his parents are ready to go away again, a group of men trespassed in their house. They were held inside the house before Seungcheol witnessed how his father and mother was shot dead in the hands of those guys, traumatizing him to the core. The police saw him in the hallway outside his room crying, chanting his mother’s name while his hands are on his ears as if covering the noises from the gunshot after. His parents were discovered dead in their room.” Mingyu narrated. Jihoon remembered the night where he saw Seungcheol outside his bedroom, weeping. That explains why Seungcheol was so afraid of thunder and fireworks. Maybe also the reason why he went berserk seeing a toy gun. Jihoon clenched his fist tight, unconsciously. 

”What happened after?” Jihoon asked with his fist still close atop of his lap. He has a strong urge to track down those guys and torture them in a way they deserved to be tortured. 

”My mother let him stay at our house when the police escorted him out of the crime scene while they investigate their house. The moment he woke up the next day, It was the worst, Jihoon. He could not remember me or even my mother. He was in a daze asking when his mymy and daddy will come home. He was acting weird. Then he freaks out upon hearing even a slightest bang or commotion. It was so painful seeing him like that. My mother consulted a psychiatrist and she said he was deeply traumatized and it would be hard to treat him because Age regression often happens to a child, not in a teenager. It would be hard reaching for his recovery when everything triggers him. That’s the reason why I pursued psychology, so I will be able to treat him. You know Jihoon, Seungcheol still believes that his parents are just somewhere in this world traveling by airplane. He is still waiting for them to come home. He does not deserve that kind of pain. It is heartbreaking.” Mingyu threw another glance at the sleeping figure of his brother. 

Jihoon knows it. Seungcheol often calls for her mother in his dreams and Jihoon was there to witness him crying in his sleep. 

”But what’s that old hag got to do with that? Why can’t he let you near him and let you treat him?”Now everything is a puzzling him. It seems like when one of his questions is finally answered, another question seems to pop up. 

”Because we do not trust us and neither did he,” Mingyu answered with stiffness.

” Just months after the incident, he showed up claiming Seungcheol. He told my mother he was Seungcheol’s uncle and he wants Seungcheol to live with him. My mother did not believe him and said she won’t let Seungcheol in his custody. My mother knew how Seungcheol’s father hated his sibling because of how selfish that Yul is. He was the worst, according to Cheol’s father and they never get along. Another week had passed and the police came into our house arresting my mother. They said someone reported that my family was the mastermind of the Choi’s murder. All pieces of evidence that were obviously forged were pointing to my mother. It was impossible. My mother will never do something like that. Not in her friend. “ 

”She was imprisoned for months after the court decided she was not guilty. But that man won Seungcheol’s custody. He was the uncle so he has the rights, said the judge. He filed a restraining order for us so we can never reach Seungcheol. We flew to America after then my mother passed away. It was so hard living in a foreign country alone with no connections and all. We lost everything proving my mother’s innocence so I have nothing left with me, literally. But I got by. I am working on re-opening the case again. Then three years ago, After I graduated, I came back here so I can finally treat him. But it was so hard to see him. Not when his uncle fired all the maid who is working there before and putting a high security. I don’t know what he is up to but I swear, he is up to no good.“ Mingyu heaved another deep sigh as if releasing years of hardship into the thin air. 

He even saw the guy wipe something in his eyes before smiling at Jihoon. 

”I sneak into their house to see him every now and then but I only got to stay for minutes before the security sees me. It was hard to catch even a glimpse of him. It was hard when I wanted to hold him and kiss him. I want to hear him calling me by my name again. I missed him so much. But now you’re here. I am glad I can finally be with him. Thank you for helping me Jihoon-ssi.” He crossed his arms while watching the guy in front of him eye him like he was such a blessing from above.

It was a minute before Jihoon found his words and speak again. 

”Why are you doing this? Why are you not giving up if it has been very hard for you?” He does not intend to sound bitter but it came out naturally. 

Mingyu seemed startled by his question a first.

He beamed Jihoon one bright smile before answering. 

”Because I love him, Jihoon-ssi. You don’t give up the person you love. You will do everything for that person no matter how hard it is. Even if it is between life and death. I want him to know I love him even he cannot remember he loves me too. I want to love him despite everything“ From that, Jihoon can only look at Mingyu.

”Please, take care of Seungcheol for me when I couldn’t. Promise me Jihoon-ssi.” Mingyu pleads when he did not say anything. 

 

Jihoon and Seungcheol reached home before dinner. As much as he hated seeing the old hog prior to the previous story he just heard, he had no choice but to dine with them. 

Seungcheol just ate silently while Jihoon is playing with their entangled fingers under the table. 

After the awkward (usually) dinner, they retreated to Jihoon’s room as Seungcheol is staying in there for a quite a while now. Jihoon saw the now healing bruises his brother have in his body, contemplating whether he should discuss the matter to Mingyu or not (despite him listening and ‘trying’ to tolerate the other, he cannot help but be irritated by its presence). He wonders where Seungcheol got all of it. Or if his brother is sick. 

He shrugged the thought away. 

”Goodnight Jiji” Seungcheol pecked him on the lips before snuggling to bury his head on Jihoon’s neck. It is his comfortable position in sleeping with his hand under one pillow. 

Jihoon looked at Seungcheol peaceful sleeping face. The older is just so beautiful despite all the scars he has in his complicity. The man is just too good for the world’s wrath. He agrees with Mingyu’s previous statement: Seungcheol doesn’t deserve those pain. 

”Mymy” Seungcheol muttered in his sleep, probably dreaming of his mother again. He is still indeed waiting for them to come home someday. Jihoon clenched his fist remembering every detail of Mingyu’s story. 

”Take care of Seungcheol for me” He remembered the guy’s voice resonates in his mind. He felt another tugged at his inside thinking of that but he chose to ignore it. 

He pecked his brother’s temple a goodnight kiss. 

He is sure he would take good care of Seungcheol. But doing it for Mingyu, that’s another thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, the back story is the first one I come up to and then, later on, thinking about the plot. Hahaha. so technically, the backstory came first before everything. 
> 
> Soooo, I love gyucheol. My main ship is jicheol and meanie butttttttt gyucheol are just too adorable.
> 
> anyway, as usual, leave your thoughts in the comments below and I hope you are still enjoying the story.


	10. 3.3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a story of Mingyu and Seungcheol and how Jihoon deals with it.

The room enveloped them in a tension-filled silence. 

Suddenly, the steam of smoke coming from his coffee seems to be more interesting for Jihoon. Its warmth ironically complimented the harsh taps of the rain outside Mingyu’s small clinic, tho not soothing him one bit. 

”I’m fine.” Jihoon’s attention was halted from questioning the science of condensation. The taller gave him one reassuring smile. Funny thing is that it was not assuring him. He felt more terrible seeing it.  

”I did not ask.” he talked back, emphasizing the nonchalant. Who says he felt guilty? No, he was not. 

It was not his fault. Really. So why would he feel guilty? 

He was just sitting on the couch, minding his own business, gripping his phone with both hands when his brother kissed him on the lips out of the blue. The act itself was startling but what causes the tension to arise more is the fact that Mingyu was just around the corner, watching them. He wanted to just shrug it out as Seungcheol did the same to Mingyu. But the noticeable difference was that it was on his cheek. The latter asked why not on the lips, obviously feeling jealous about it. Sure it was unsettling enough for the taller to handle. But then his brother’s words made the huge blow trying to answer the doctor’s question. (Mymy said that you only kiss the lips of the person you love). And it was when the atmosphere inside the clinic mirrored the gloom of the weather. Uncomfortable enough for the two of them to look at each other while Seungcheol flew out from the scene, completely oblivious. 

Seungcheol’s words stirred something in Jihoon’s inside, churning in. Making him feel light but still questioning. But it was not guilt for he did not do anything tho if feels like he did something wrong. 

Mingyu was about to argue with him when a loud bang of thunder was heard followed by the electricity being cut off. There’s a gasped I a tiny space. Then muffled sobs are heard as they recover from the sudden brownout. 

Realizing what was happening, Jihoon was quick to move, pushing and feeling the air in an attempt to find where his brother is. Being engulfed by the sudden darkness, he stumbled on a thing which resembled a table but nevermind it, he thought. The most important thing at the moment is his brother. He needed to find Seungcheol as quickly as possible. He was kicking things, he even heard of a glass shattering after. Then his knee brushed into something hard and soft. He knelt down to check what was it when he felt a ragged breathing reach his right cheek. It is Seungcheol. 

”My..mymy...no....please no..my” he heard the voice say. 

”Seungcheol” he called as he crunched a little higher, embracing his terrified brother. In his arms. He can see it a little clearer than before as he adjusted to the darkness. There is the older, fitting himself on the wall in one corner, desperately shutting his eyes while holding both of his ears blocking whatever he was hearing. He tightens his embrace to the latter to make him feel safe. He is trying to lessen his fright. 

”no... Please...noo. Leav..e. My...” Seungcheol tried to break away from his embrace, shaking and begging. He was scared to death while Jihoon can only offer him warmth in his embrace. 

”do..nt..hurt mym..y. Pleasee “ he heard his brother utter again. It was times like this that Jihoon wishes he came to his brother’s life earlier so he won’t have to feel shit like this. It was times like this that he wishes Seungcheol can never experience pain.  

”Shh. Baby. Jiji’s here. Shh,’ he kissed the older’s temple and hug him tighter as he was shushing him in his arms, reassuring him everything is fine. Albeit knowing it was futile. 

That was their scenario when Mingyu found them with a flashlight in his hand. There is a relief in his eyes that will definitely conceal his hurt only if he tried harder. But Jihoon chose not to say a thing.

 

Jihoon runs his gaze to the picture frames atop of a wood plastered in the wall, next to the television. There are just tons of pictures of Mingyu and Seungcheol together taken in the past and he eyed them carefully. There is this one where Seungcheol was holding an ice cream while Mingyu had his arms around him. There is also a photo where Seungcheol was pouting. Then one that was a stolen shot of his brother smiling as he rubs a kitten. Seeing all of it, he concluded that Seungcheol has been always so beautiful. But out of many good pictures on display, what caught Jihoon’s attention is a photo where Mingyu was cupping Seungcheol’s cheeks while they were sharing a kiss, both eyes are closed. Just by the look at it, they were sure having fun, eliciting a hidden connection just between the two of them. 

”It was his 17th birthday. And perhaps the happiest moment of my life.” A voice said, informing him. Jihoon did not even felt a presence next to him until then, he was busy staring at the picture.  

After the earlier drama, Mingyu insisted to take them at his flat, just blocks away from the clinic. 

It was raining hard too, making it impossible to cross the high way that was being slaughtered by a strong wind. So he really cannot refuse the offer. Added to the fact that Seungcheol was still shaking and crying on their way to the doctor’s house. But eventually fell asleep along the way, tears smearing his face. 

When they finally reached their destination, Mingyu took Seungcheol in his arms even before Jihoon could react. He brought his brother into his room and tucked him to bed upstairs without saying anything. Jihoon just let him because first, he cannot just snatch Seungcheol in the taller’s arms and tell Mingyu to back off. Second, he cannot see a reason to why he wanted to snatch his brother off the other I the first place. Also, he is a doctor and he probably knows what to do more than him who will just envelop his brother into a pointless hug. That left him in the small living room alone where the pictures are posted. 

“Sometimes I miss him even tho he was just next to me. Because it was different.” Mingyu eyed the picture longingly while Jihoon remained silent. When the desperate psychiatrist told him he was his brother’s fiance, he did not want to believe him at first. Even when he was helping him bring Seungcheol to his clinic for the therapy, he somehow doubts it. But seeing the picture proves him that the two have uncleared past they have shared. And in fact, undoubtedly in-loved. 

He heard the doctor heaved a deep sigh. 

”Do you know the feeling of knowing you will love a person till your last breath when you first saw them? That’s what I felt then when I saw him in their garden when I was seven.” Loving a person when you first saw them? Jihoon wanted to snort. How would he know shit like that? Having denied love by his own mother he would not have even the slightest idea about things like that. That four letter word is long buried in the deepest pit of his existence when his father died and he does not think it will ever be seen again. 

”You would not believe how we met. Actually, it was too cliche. You may even find it corny. It was indeed. But I will never forget it even tho he did.” Even without giving the taller a glance, he was sure there is a bitter smile stretching his lips, still trying hard to conceal that big pile of hurt. 

Jihoon is not really interested in whatever nostalgia or poetic sequence Mingyu has in his brain. He was being way too dramatic for Jihoon’s liking. But he did not shut the latter. He just listened. Because maybe, a part of him wanted to know who and what the past Seungcheol was. It was a curiosity which is like an itch; it will bother him even in his sleep if he did not scratch it. He does not like the idea of that. Perhaps he let Seungcheol in his life more than he intended to welcome him. 

”It was a beautiful day, just like him. The first day of Spring when we just moved in. I’ve mentioned to you that my mother was friends with his family, right? Well, they were actually high school friends but they lost communication as they got busy achieving different paths for college. The good thing was that they reunited when we were looking for a place to stay since my father died and what are the odds for we ended up living just in front of their huge mansion.” Mingyu started, getting that one frame to hold it in his hands. 

”I was seven then and he just turned eight back then. I remember my mother and I was buying grocery when a beautiful woman excitedly talked to her in a friendly manner and later on dragging me and my mother inside their house. Mumbling how excited she was that finally, his Cheollie will finally have a someone to play with. I was still a child back then. So I did not understand anything that was going on. But as I saw a child sitting on the grass playing with his cars and airplanes, beaming me his beautiful smile, I swear my breath hitched. I never knew what love is back then but I know he was gonna be someone special to me.” 

”Then we became close. We became each others confidante. His parents are rarely at home but he understands. He was just so kind, even back then. We share each other's dreams. He has always wanted to be a pilot, just like his dad while I just wanted to be anywhere near him. We were best friends. Inseparable. And then he told me he liked me when I was thirteen and I could not be any happier because I felt the same way from the first time I saw him. We kissed for the first time at the back of their house, I remember it clearly.”There’s this soft fondness in the doctor’s voice that made Jihoon ask himself if he ever sounded the same when talking about Seungcheol. He hopes not.  

”It was not a smooth sail. We have to keep our relationship secret at first because we never told our parents that we are gay and we were afraid they will get mad at us for being one. It was not easy hiding and acting around them when all we ever wanted to do is kiss and say sappy things to each other. Until eventually they get to know it. Of course, we can never hide it forever. At first, they thought it was just a phase. That we were just confused and we were still young to know how a relationship works. But they become okay with it. They said as long as we were happy. Our parents are the best kind, I’m telling you, Jihoon. They were very supportive. We were happy. We did not need anything. And then he turned seventeen and I proposed to him on his birthday. He said yes. You do not have any idea how happy I was hearing his answer. We were so in love. If only you knew. The world will be jealous if only you knew how he looks at me. He was my life and I know it was mutual. But one day shit just happened. “ Mingyu chuckled. Jihoon made the effort to look at him only to see that he was now crying. Not ugly crying, just tearing up. 

”He was my everything. Until I woke up one day and he forgot about me. It only took one day to lose everything we have had. One moment we were in love but in just a snap, I was an alien in his memory. He forgot about me. About us. “ Jihoon kept quiet. It’s not like he wanted to comfort the crying doctor beside him. And even if he wanted to, he does not know how. But it is not like he actually would either. 

He can imagine it. His mind can picture Mingyu’s narrative. It was good to imagine Seungcheol being sane and carefree. And of course, happy. It was a beautiful sight. But it was a little sour picturing him laughing with someone that is not him, thinking that maybe if none of those happened, he would not be able to meet Seungcheol. Jihoon wonder’s why it was suddenly hard to let out a breath. 

”I witness him break. I was there when he lost everything including his sanity. I was there. But I was not able to do anything. They took him away. And there I was, with my mother, just watching them. Branding him as some abnormal kid. ” Mingyu balled his fists and somehow, hearing the last sentence, Jihoon wanted to do the same. 

”They took my everything away. They even blame my mother for a crime she did not commit. We flew out of the country. We were struggling to live. My mother and I were penniless. But there was this good doctor who helped us. He was nice. He was willing to help us and made me his apprentice. I told him about what the psychiatrist said when my mom brought Seungcheol to one. I told him I wanted to be a psychiatrist too and be able to cure him. He helped me. I strived hard. I worked hard to become a doctor. Weeks before my graduation, my mother died. But before she left, she told me to help Seungcheol. To find him and make sure he is well. And I promised her I will. I graduated and flew back here in an attempt to fulfill that promise and be able to be with him again but I do not have a chance for his uncle is keeping him away. “ 

”It was hard, Jihoon. I just wanted to hold him in my arms. To kiss him whenever I want. I just wanted to be with him. But I cannot do that. I can even barely see him. All I can afford are stolen moments whenever his uncle is out. I just love him so much I cannot stop. “ he wiped his tears and Jihoon just stood there, watching him. Jihoon wonders if love was really that great. How can Mingyu say that he loves Seungcheol to the extent of betting his life for the latter? 

He pities Mingyu and he thinks he is stupid at the same time. But somehow, Jihoon envy him. He cannot picture himself loving someone to that extent. 

”Then you came. I was just glad you came. I know I am being greedy but Jihoon I am just so desperate. I cannot hold myself anymore. Please help me make Seungcheol remember his feelings for me. Help me make him fall for me again.” Mingyu faces him with determined eyes boring onto him. Jihoon just stared at him before gazing back at the picture of the two people kissing again. He felt a clench in his stomach seeing it. 

”I just love him so much. You will help me, right?” he heard the doctor questioned. 

If Jihoon is being honest right at that moment, he does not really know how to answer that question. He could say no and he would not be guilty about it. But it also means admitting something he is not ready to think of. It means accepting something he was not ready to give. He maybe does not know what love is but he knew Seungcheol is special to him. More than anyone. But that was just it. Care and attention are all he could offer. He knows he would not die for his brother. Unlike Mingyu. Mingyu knows how to love and Jihoon would never. Because that was just him and love was not for the likes of him. 

He stared at the picture once more before nodding. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just actually a filler. to put a gap between the past and the present day. A backstory of Gyucheol. and I love them I am literally hurting for Mingyu.   
> But I have plans. I am so sorry I could not update. I was really busy and if I happen to have some time, my mind wonders to my other stories stored in my drafts. I am so sorry. 
> 
> Anyway, comments are really appreciated. And i am really sincere about it. because when i was having a hard time or a block, it would make me motivated and i love to see how you see my story. So those who commented, thank you. 
> 
> I will try to finish this story real soon. there are only five to six chapters left. thank you for reading. Enjoy :) 


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